Today I am going to change Dannie's daily quote slightly and explain how frustration can lead to doing things which you later regret. This quote isn't so much about Dannie but more about what I have unfortunately done through pure frustration with others.
During Dannie's primary school, I fought the school for endless days trying to get some sort of help for Dannie in class only to be told over and over that Dannie was fine and she had no problems at all in school. (This was before Dannie was diagnosed.) I was lucky enough to have help from the family and children liaison officers and without them I no doubt would have been banned from the school over many situations but they always managed to smooth the water again for me.
How may times have you felt like screaming at the top of your voice "DON'T MIND ME I'M ONLY HER MOTHER"
Well if you have had to fight as long as I have this number is probably in the hundreds.
What I found out with Aspergers children is that in some cases our children manage to stay calm in one area but not in others, in my case Dannie was calm in school but not at home. So all the problems I was seeing at home didn't happen in school, so to them, Dannie didn't have a problem. She had no disability or problems, yea she was behind in some subjects but that was all. At one point I was even told that many AS kids do not get diagnosed until they are at least 7 or 8.
To which I replied "So you are intending to leave her hanging for the next 3 years then?" It didn't go down well, I was just told again that Dannie was fine and not to worry so much.
(Great now I've been classed as a parent that worries too much) that went down like a lead balloon I can assure you.
The amount of times that I was told that Dannie was just being Dannie, well I'd be a millionaire by now if I had a pound for every time I heard that.
Anyway back to the point.
One day I had had enough of the fighting with the school and being told how 'perfect' Dannie was in school that one day I thought to myself (In anger) "Well if you really want to see the Dannie I see then that's what you will have.
I knew that Dannie was hyperactive and that E numbers and orange juice made her worse to the point of no control so I did no more than give her a packet of smarties for breakfast followed by a glass of orange juice.
Dannie was most put out because I had taught her from an early age to stay away from these kinds of food and drink. But my mind was set.
Dannie at that time attended breakfast club, so I sent her to school with 3 more cartons of orange juice and another 3 packets of smarties, Dannie left for breakfast club and I smiled to myself thinking "Now lets see if you still think Dannie is fine, I had images of the classroom being destroyed, Dannie shouting, arguing with anyone and everyone you name it I thought it.
It took me around half an hour to come to my senses and realise that maybe this wasn't the best way to get my point across. But things had spiralled so far with the school that I could think of no other way of showing them what Dannie was really like.
But what I didn't realise was that my plan had backfired because Dannie had done no more than go into breakfast club and handed all the orange juice and smarties to the family liason officer who was on duty at the time and proceeded to tell her that she wasn't aloud to eat or drink this stuff because it turned her angry and she didn't want to get into trouble at school.(guess I taught her too well about E numbers and orange juice)
So Dannie didn't drink the rest of the juice it was placed in the bin and Dannie was given time for the stuff she had already taken to wear off.
So that went down well with the Family liaison officer when she called me later that day to let me know that Dannie had done the right thing. (I can still hear my ears ringing from that conversation.)
So I guess the lesson I learned there is not to let your anger take over.
Believe me I know how frustrating it is not being believed or having to wait for things to get better but things will work out in the end in their own way. I will explain in another blog how this eventually came about.
So I guess all I can say is stay strong and things will come, the waiting game is not an easy one but things do work out right in the end.
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