We announced something amazing yesterday to everyone or rather Grace announced something
YUP. Grace is going to be a big sister in February / March of next year. We are thrilled but there is a level of trepidation that comes along with it. Yes, I know every mom get's nervous about having babies. I am no different, but adding the special needs cocktail into the mix and some moments my anxiety takes over.
There are no guarantees in life, no 100% anything, no promises, nothing that says lightening won't strike twice. Or in our case 3 times. I know so many people in the autism community choose to not have any more after they have their child with autism. I know , I understand, and I don't judge them in any way. We are all in different places.
I would resent Sammy and autism if I felt it had forced me to give up my dreams of a big family. I would be bitter and angry and heartbroken if I had to give up simply because of autism. No one should have to give up their dreams. It's just unnatural. Isn't that what I work so hard with Sammy for? I want him to see his potential, to see his dreams, and to not hold back. I want to see him fire off into the sky and shine brighter than the moon. WHY? Just having autism , doesn't mean he doesn't have dreams and hopes. He must. We may not know what they really are yet, but we will. He will be amazing!
He will be AMAZING and he will be cheered on by both younger and older siblings. Because autism has messed with me and my family enough I wont let it take this dream too.
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