Wednesday, 27 June 2012
Something that I want to touch on today has to do with building memories with your child that has #Autism. I was one of those fathers that felt like all the plans I had made for my kids futures went out the window, after the diagnosis.
I had drempt of coaching soccer and all the other things that a father wants to do with his sons.
In the beginning, I was affraid that I would never get to have any of those memories. I don’t think it’s selfish to feel disappointed when facing the reality that direction your life will be taking is not the direction you had planned. It’s only human to feel disappointed.
Having said that, I wanted to share with you what I have learned over the many years of raising children with #Autism.
Expectations can be your worst enemy. I learned that the best thing I could ever do was throw my expectations out the window and allow my kids to show me all the amazing things they are capable of. While I might not ever coach their soccer team, there are so many other things that I can do with each of my boys that are just as meaningful as the ones I had originally planned before I first heard the word #Autism.
I wanted to share an example of what I mean.
Emmett and I have recently found something special that he and I can do together. There are honestly, tons of things we do together but this one is really special to him.
I shared with you awhile ago that I got rid of my PS3 do to all the anxiety it caused in the kids, especially Gavin. I took everything into Best Buy and traded it for a Playstation Vita and some games. This allowed me to still play without having the kids experience the overstimulating anxiety they did before.
Anyway, I have pretty much kept the Vita to myself so that it didn’t get broken or damaged.
Emmett has a talent for the Lego based games and is currently, really, really into Batman. The other day, I traded mygames back into Best Buy and was able to get the new Lego Batman 2 game.
Emmett and I have been working together to best the game. He’s actually really good and I only help him out when he gets stuck somewhere. We only play one level at a time so as not to overstimulate him. It’s been a lot of fun and Emmett feels really special because he gets to play Daddy’s Vita. I also absolutely love the way he asks to play. He has a slight lisp and it’s just really cute.
I have a special thing like this with all my boys. I just wanted to focus on Emmett tonight.
I say this with the absolute best of intentions and from the perspective of a special needs parent that has 3 very unique and challenging boys on the #Autism spectrum. I have learned that if I let go of the past and expectations, I get to experience amazing things with my boys. Everyday we are building memories to last a lifetime. It’s just not the ones that I had planned, but you know what? That’s okay with me. " />