Conditions are deteriorating. Things that remind me of that happen more frequently now. In the beginning no one could find any proof of the damage in my brain. I've researched websites to include places like the Mayo clinic and found that it's not easy to find the proof sought. It has to be drastic to show up on MRI's without a dye contrast. I was unlucky enough to have doctors who wouldn't run an MRI with contrast unless I was flailing on the floor. That compounded getting diagnosis accurately.
I even saw two neurologists and both of them discounted and dismissed me. The second literally kicked me out of his office only because I have bipolar disorder. He wouldn't hear anything I had to say.
In the mean time, I've consistently and slowly been losing my balance. I wear out faster than ever, despite exercise. I have vertigo over simple and slight movements of my body or head. And my cranial nerves hate it when I try to lift something heavy, even if I'm physically strong enough to. I faint or have a fainting spell. Coughing is dangerous, it will knock me out. Sneezing causes nerves in my neck and shoulders to react and stun me. It's called a brachial stun, used by police officers to subdue unruly suspects. And the contused nerves in my forehead hurt a lot and often. All of this seems to go hand in hand with my sensory disorder and make it worse too. It's all be gradual, but I can definitely tell the difference.
Maybe my problem was how the doctors in the areas I lived did things. The first time I spoke about this to a doctor here in Louisiana he set me up with a contrasted MRI. It came back as quote: "unusual". To that I say THANK YOU, it proves I'm not crazy or imagining things. I've talked to lots of people who have gone through this in trying to track their health and take care of themselves. It's a diminishing and dehumanizing feeling when doctors won't listen to you. Then it's a Godsend when they do. Maybe, now that I have an updated MRI that actually shows something, I'll have better luck with the new neurologist next month. Yeah that's as soon as I can get in and I have to drive fifty miles too.
In the mean time, my short term memory is crud. My coordination is worse. Last night, I was having a bowl of chili. I went to get a spoonful and slammed my hand into the steaming hot mixture instead. It dumped on my lap and scalded my hand. I can't tell you how much that messes with my head when that kind of thing happens. Two days before that, I spent an entire day in what felt like a narcotic fog. No, I hadn't taken anything stronger than tylenol. I was useless for the whole day. I didn't hit my head, or get sick. I was just fogged beyond belief. I've had to catch myself on doorways, walls, and getting up out of a chair is treacherous.
As these things happen, I find myself saying "what the hell?" I'm only 41. Didn't I have enough to deal with in my autism and bipolar? Or maybe it's something more depreciating than bipolar ever was. What if the bipolar was MS all along? I don't know, but sure hope to find answers soon.
I do everything in short intervals, even this blog. It sits on my screen as I stop and rest my hands in between. It's a struggle I won't give up, even if I eventually have to have someone else type it. If I can get someone (ha ha on that). Well, I will post on my journey more as it happens. Till then, be well.
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Sorry to read about your experiences with doctors. I can relate. Based on your symptoms, it's a "no brainer", i.e. M.S. I have it too, and most of the same symptoms. Autism and autoimmune diseases appear to go hand in hand, and for some reason, very little is written about it. I would question your Bipolar diagnosis. Many of our autistic traits look like Bipolar Disorder but are really just features of who we are. So you might want to consider tossing that diagnosis in the trash. Regarding the M.S., my suggestions are these. Make sure you get between 7 to 8 hours of sleep every night. My night time cocktail consists of 15 mg of Mirtazapine, the generic version of Remeron, 3 mg of Melatonin, and 2000 I.U.'s of Fish Oil tablets. Since sleep disorders are very common with Autistics, Mirtazapine is the recommended drug to deal with it even though it's technically an anti-depressant. My other recommendation is to exercise as much as possible, walking and lifting weights. Last year I had a bad M.S. attack and was in a wheelchair for 2 months, the fifth time in 12 years. Currently I take a one mile walk in my neighborhood up hill every day without using my third leg, i.e. my cane. Dealing with M.S. is a combination of mind-body therapy, and in my humble opinion, positive thinking and eliminating stress in your life are 2 of the best prescriptions that are free and have zero side affects. I wish you luck in your journey in figuring out what works for you.