Friday, 20 April 2012

• The Words We All Wait to Hear

  
  
  
  Yesterday afternoon I had to go to school.  Normally D is sleeping when I leave.  I get back before she wakes up so she usually doesn't even know I'm gone.  Yesterday she didn't fall asleep so she was awake when I was getting ready to go.  

  I put my shoes on and got my keys.  She knew I was getting ready to leave and I could sense her anticipation.  I knelt down and said, "bye bye!"  and she ran into my arms, hugging me tight with all her 2 year old strength.  She wouldn't let go.  I knew she was going to be anxious when I left and cry for at least 10 minutes.  She has separation anxiety from me, which is still somewhat typical for her age, but her's can be a little extreme. 

  I told her, "mommy has to go now, give me kisses."  She pulled my face into her's and kissed me twice.  She loves kisses.  Then something happened that I never expected.  She pulled back, looked me in the eyes and said with a big smile, "love you!"  I was completely floored.  I grabbed her tight and squealed, "I LOVE YOU!  I LOVE YOU TOO D!!!"  She smiled big, proud of herself and happy to hear me echo the same sentiment.

  Then a wave of relief and joy hit me like a ton of bricks.  I looked up at Micah, with tears in my eyes and with voice cracking said, "she's never said it to me before.  Not unless I said it first.  The only time was at bed time, when it was scripted after all the times we prompted her."  Then the tears started flowing freely down my cheeks as I sobbed, "Its the first time she said it to me, and meant it, all on her own.  She knows what it means Micah! She loves me!" 

  I pulled myself together and looked at her, "thank you baby.  That means so much to me, mommy loves you too."  She was smiling still.  I picked her up and put her in daddy's lap with a book.  Then I put my glasses on to cover my tears and headed for the door.  Today she didn't cry when I left.

  As I drove to school I had a smile from ear to ear.  I thought to myself, "this is the best day of my life."

  "A mother's love is like nothing else in the world.  It knows no law, no pity; it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly anything that stands in its path"

  -Agatha Christie

  
  

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