Monday, 20 June 2011
Last blog was about my husband driving me nuts. And I found out why! He's normally annoying with his rough tickling and nipple pinching...but like you guys suggested I fight back...and boy do I! lol...he's gotten pinched, kicked, twisted, etc...but he gets off on that so it kinda backfires on trying to get him to quit. Anywaysss...I found out why he was being a downright ass! It was out of guilt. When he does things he knows will upset me he puts up a wall and acts like an ass...I guess it is his defense mechanism or something. But like clockwork the truth eventually, always comes out. And this time, well there were fireworks but not the kind you would enjoy.
So what did he do? Well two of our children have been spending a couple of weeks with his parents and apparently him and his parents have been doing things behind my back knowing that I am against said things. Examples: my daughter who is three and a bit delayed is in the middle of doing different therapies like speech and adaptive p.e. (stuff to catch her up). My inlaws suggested this oxygen chamber therapy in the event she has autism, which she has not been diagnosed with. I said "well the info I found on it so far says further studies need to be done. i would really like to talk to a few doctors about it first. Anyway if she doesn't have it, why would I treat her for it?" Well guess what they did behind my back? Put her and my son who is two in a damn chamber! Now on to my two year old son who sleeps in his own bed and has a specific bedtime...they put him and my daughter in their bed with them, which i specifically said not to do. you can easily mess up a two year olds bedtime like that. then at the end of the two weeks they had them for they pulled a bullshit excuse that they thought we were coming up there to get them (which we never said so I don't know how they got that) so they could keep them another week.
Now when they pulled their excuse about keeping them another week I was aggravated and annoyed...but I was like "ok, i'll let it go." But guess when I found out about the other stuff??? this past weekend when my husband's guilty conscience took over. Boy, was I livid! my husband said "why are you acting all crazy?" to which I replied, "I am not acting crazy, I'm acting pissed because i'm PISSED!" He just didn't get that it upset me that they went behind my back and did things they knew I was against.
Okay sorry about ranting but here is the issue: I believe his parents should respect my decisions about my kids and not go behind my back and do them anyway...and if I don't address this they'll just keep doing it. But my husband just doesn't see how they were wrong. His problem is that he can't stand up to them because they're his parents and he doesn't want them to "disown" him or something. Let me tell you...after living with them and listening to them I can't feel bad. His dad has told him numerous times that he's a piece of shit and he doesn't love him and he's glad he's not his father (my husband is adopted). So basically my husband just doesn't argue with them because if something doesn't go their way then they throw a huge fit. And if I would tell you the things that have gone down and been said you would probably be appalled (but that would take a long time). My inlaws are not the parents of my kids...I am, and they need to get that through their heads!
I don't have a problem telling them where to go and how to get there. They stepped over the line...far over and I don't think I should just let that slide. I'm not asking what i should tell them...because believe me I know what to tell them. But as far as my husband goes...I don't expect him to be hateful towards them or forget about them. I just want him to grow a pair and stand up for himself and for us...and if he can't do it then let me. But he is their doormat. I want to work this out if that's even possible, but I don't want to be dealing with this for twenty miserable years before I finally say "I'm done." i know it's probably going to take awhile to get him to see what i see, but I'm willing to try.
This is what I need from you guys: should i just keep fighting tooth and nail to get him to see what they're doing? should i just give in (don't see that happening)? should i just go ahead and talk to them even though he doesn't want me to? do you think there is any way to get us on the same page when it comes to this issue?
I am trying to be calm about this, but how can I let my kids visit them alone again if I can't trust them? I can deal with the nipple pinching but I can't deal with the sucking of the momma tit! He's 23. It's time to grow a pair, don't you think?
So friends....what would you do if you were in my place?