Over the past seven years, we've seen 7 different psychiatrists, 9 therapists/psychologists, 4 OTs, 3 tutors and a couple of speech paths. We've employed educational consultants, a nutritionist and an RDI therapist. During this time, Big Brother has also participated in a social skills group and an engine speed group. This doesn't even include the revolving door of specialists he's come in contact with at school.
Is it any wonder the poor kid hates therapy so much?
As I look back over the years since we first received our diagnosis, I have to ask myself:
"Was it all worth it?" Absolutely not.
With the exception of a maybe 3 to 4 professionals, this passel of therapists has been a pathetic and worthless lot. And, when I look back at how much money was wasted on those professing to be professionals, I find myself getting a tad queasy.
More accurately, steam can also be seen exiting my ears. That's because I find it highly distasteful that autism makes for such great business. Even the most mediocre therapist can make the big bucks by just hanging up a shingle and proclaiming themselves an
expert. On the flip side, most parents of special needs kids are left with little to no disposable income.
This means that while we've virtually spent ourselves into the poorhouse employing these jokers, they're literally out there enjoying the fruits of our labor.
That, my friends, makes me more than a bit queasy... First I'm mad at myself for being so naive. When we started this journey, we foolishly believed that because someone said they were good, they actually were. We dutifully opened our checkbooks as we were handed advice that went from bad to worse.
What hurts even more is the guilt of subjecting my boy and my family to methods that were ineffective at best. Far to many ended up doing more harm than good.
If I knew then what I know now, we may have saved ourselves a small fortune. But back then, we bought into the theory that we were just the parents and that those doling out the advice knew far more about our son than we did.
Thankfully we've wised up. The hubby and I can now size a person up within the first minute of conversation. And we're no longer shy about giving the bad ones the boot. We simply don't have the time or energy for niceties.
So how do you tell good from bad? I've given this a lot of thought and have narrowed it down to three essential qualities.
The first are the givens --
education and
experience. You might assume the person at the other side of the desk has both, but don't be fooled. Too few people actually have solid understanding of best practices. I once asked the head of an autism classroom what her experience was. Her reply? "Well...I took a class once." God help us all.
That said, don't confuse book smarts with street smarts. All those fancy letters after a name don't mean squat if a practitioner does not have real world experience.
Also topping my list of must-haves is
flexibility. I am amazed at the level of rigidity I have found over the years. No, not from our kids, but from the professionals that deal with them. So if you find a therapist that has one way of doing things, or a very defined system of what works with a kid with autism, RUN! Our kids are individuals, not little cookies to be cut out of the same mold.
Another thing that all the really outstanding professionals seem to have in common? They all have
heart. They are the ones to go the extra mile, the ones whose caring and concern extends past our 50 minute session. They take time out of their day to write letters, talk on the phone or check in with other doctors on our case. At the end of the day, they may call just to make sure we're all OK.
It's funny how all the experts tout early intervention the key to success. Too bad no one lets you in on the industry's dirty little secret. It just happens to be chock full of unqualified, unethical quacks.
Now I'd like to get your feedback. When it comes to finding a good therapist (or spotting the bad), what makes your list?
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