Saturday, 04 June 2011
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Attention Educators: Stop the B.S. (Part 1)
I think educators think we [parents] are stupid.
However, I would like to remind them all [teachers, principles, aides and administrators] that as a professional counselor it is my job to see through people’s bull s**t. And lately I have been wading in a lot of that.
I have tried to be nice, like Peter Wright suggests... but I have had my fill of social etiquette this year.
(For those of you who don't know: The district is moving our autistic daughter from her current building to the home building based on residency because of 'district growth challenges' or so they say... and we have let them know we do not approve. She is not only flourishing but has built friendships with the kids in her grade level.)
Anyways, the principle out right lied at the IEP meeting stating that the 'administrative team' reviewed her records and the decision was based on her excessive tardiness... "REALLY? because I put her on the bus on time every day this year; she better have gotten to school ON TIME". Of course her school record confirm that she was NEVER late to school. So we were told about 3 more songs and dances on why she couldn’t stay in the building where she was not only established, but flourishing!
What is interesting, we know there are other children in this same building who are not in their home building... and yet they did not get the same letter that we were told was 'standard' and sent to all students not in their appropriate building based on residency.
But the thing that bothered me the most... was the teacher I lovED and respectED didn’t correct the principle in her tardiness accusations... she sat there wide eyed and didn’t say a word... until the principle left the room. THEN she whispered, “She has never been tardy!!” Why didn’t you speak up when the principle was ‘arguing’ with me about this? I thought you were supposed to be Sahara’s advocate. (3 professionals you work with told me you have 'pull' with the district and could advocate for her to stay... so why aren't you??)
Then the therapist and teacher refused to add accommodations into the IEP that support these statements.... “she reads better with the lights off” (sensory issues) AND“she does better in OT with fine motor activities (like writing) when she does Brain Gym first”.
When I tell you I am unhappy about this not being in the IEP I get the response, “they will figure it out.” That Is not only an unprofessional statement, but unacceptable.
My poker face went out the window weeks ago, so you add, “well, Sahara just might tell them herself.”
Seriously?!?!
The child still often speaks in jargon and you are going to expect that level of verbal communication from her? Yet alone that is not the child's responsibility!!
“I thought you said you were going to relay that to the new team yourself?”
"Oh yeah I will” [big cheesy smile]... pardon me I think you are bullshitting me again!!!
This makes me wonder how much more bullshit you dealt out this year. Unfortunately, I will never know since my daughter has gross communication and language delays. But I wonder about the rides home when she said, “Sad... school... sad” as she whimpered. Or the day she came home saying, “Arm hurt....” And when I asked about it ‘nothing’ out of the ordinary was reported.
If you cannot speak your truth in front of the principle or directly to me when confronted.... I wonder how truthful you have been all year. So maybe, just maybe... once again, God is protecting Sahara by having her forced to move on from this building.
I know I have been very verbal about this on facebook lately... that helps me process. And I knew I would eventually get to the silver lining... I think I got there today.
I really was hoping for different outcomes... but time to move on. So, we are agreeing (as if we had a choice) to put her in the home building under the contingency that if we note ANY regression, we are reconvening the IEP team! And I WILL have my head so far up the new team's butt... they will be crossing every T and dotting every I for me next year. I will not let my guard down nor get all buddy-buddy with the new team. They are being hired by me to do a job... and I will make sure they are doing it.
So we end the school year bitter sweet.... you just heard the bitter.
The sweet is Sahara has made HUGE HUGE HUGE progress this year. She has bloomed socially and academically (reading, writing and doing math!!). If I see any hint of regression in the new setting I am no longer afraid to go to bat for this kid!! And again as an educated mother who has worked in the education and counseling fields... I am not hesitant on pulling her and home schooling. She deserves that and much more!
((Stay tuned for part 2 on Stop Bullshitting Me... Part 2 on Emily's adventure!))
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About the Author
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- From: alternamom
- About Me: I have side-stepped my professional career to put my energy where it needs to be... with my family. I am the mother of two fantastic, expressive, healthy daughters. Daily they inspire me to be a connected, mindful mother and for that, I am a better person. I am supported in this journey by the most incredible man. He has given me the freedom to be the mother our children deserve. As I spent the past few years orchestrating my daughter’s treatment plan for reversing autism, I collected beneficial data along the way. Interestingly, I have found that many of the changes in our lifestyle have not only benefited her, but the entire family as well. Visit my site: http://www.alterna-mom.blogspot.com/
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Comments (9)
I'm glad Sahara's advanced as far as she had!
Stories about teachers and administrators like that just make me sad. I want to go into Occupational Therapy and specialize in autistic children, and honestly seeing that sort of hypocrisy makes me sort of ill.
Right now my parents are fighting the public school I used to go to so I can go to a therapeutic school. The people, who are supposed to be helping me and my family, are turning against us and are trying to sabotage our (my family and my psychiatrist) efforts to get me into a therapeutic school that is not residential and actually teaches instead of focusing on what I can't do. I'm not autistic, but reading this reminds me of the battle we're trying to win against the school system. I have schizoaffective disorder and I'm still recovering from the side effects of ECT as well as other medications that destroyed most of my memory. I'm home schooled right now as an effort to try to get me back into the swing of things since I've missed about two and a half years of schooling because of constant hospitalizations. I really hope all goes well for you and your daughter. People who are there to help really need to stop turning their backs on those who they are supposed to help. I share your pain.
My aunt is a special education teacher. She was visiting the other day and was talking about all the bull she goes through with her kids and the rest of the school. One of the things was that her kids are always the scapegoat in playground situations. If a fight happens, it's always HER kid's fault! She's taken it upon herself to figure out what happened and march over to the other classroom with the child in question and put BOTH kids in detention because "it takes two to tango. Their kid usually starts it, my kid usually ends it".
I think it's wildly unfair how schools treat kids that aren't of the "norm", but I'm also glad she's a special education teacher because she's loud and boisterous and doesn't take the bull. Her class is apparently the best class in terms of getting special education students fully or partially "mainstreamed" (or put into regular education classes).
You gotta stick with it and be the defender your child deserves. You're doing great! Keep it up!
it's principal***
I'm truly sorry that the school is forcing your daughter to move schools. Apparently there is a piece of the puzzle that they are not revealing to anyone -- even you -- because 99% of the schools I've done business with have had the students' best interests in mind. It baffles me why they wouldn't give you better reasoning than what they did, but...I have to think there's more to the story than just this.
I teach high school, and I have to say that I was automatically pissed off when I read the title of this post. It doesn't help your case to lump all educators into the same category. Just because you feel like you got screwed over by that one teacher doesn't mean that all educators are like that.
Furthermore, did you ever stop to think about that teachers' personal position at the time? The economy is terrible and so are schools' budgets. Administration everywhere are looking for reasons -- ANY REASON -- to fire a teacher in their building, JUST so they can save some money for next year. While I don't necessarily agree with your teacher's actions, maybe she was scared that if she said anything, she would get laid off. Teaching isn't just an important job -- it's a way of making money. Like you, she needs money to live her life, and her job is key to that. Again, I'm not saying that I agree with her actions (or lack of, I guess), but think about the lack of respect that teachers everywhere receive and cut her a little slack.
I am so sorry to hear this has happened to you and your beautiful daughter!
May God bless you and ever protect you! I know he sees her as one of His elect children :)I have to agree that for the most part teachers and therapists that work with students want what is best for them and will make sure that happens if it is up to them. I had an amazing proactive relationship with my son's Early Childhood teacher and she made sure the right things happened with his speech and OT services. Things went down hill when he transitioned into the Elementary age program with staff that wasn't as experienced or as willing to seek consultation to help with their inexperience. Teachers and therapists will do what they are told by administrators if they want to keep their jobs. Even though I was told it would happen, I was still amazed at the lies and stories that came out of the mouths of my son's service providers during the due process hearing under oath. The autism consultant on his IEP team contradicted her own testimony, other witnesses testimony and the audio recordings we had of the IEP meetings, even some of their own documents. I am sorry but the extent of her lies can not be blamed on nervousness during the hearing. Other witnesses also twisted the truth and/or made up things that can't be proven or disproved. I believe they were told to do this and for the most part do not hold it against them. My husband is a highschool teacher and coach (34 years) in the same district. He has come up against his administration many times in the last 10 years when they do things that are not in the best interest of his students and athletes. You would be amazed at some of the BS he has had to deal with. He has tenure and although they can and have made things hard for him they can not fire him unless he does something really bad.
Go, Mom!! You're doing a wonderful job as a parent...you're daughter is so lucky to have you for a mother!