Again, another dry spell. I'm having a hard time finding the energy to write. It's all be sapped up by the fight. The battle for educational services. And for funding. And to keep things on as even of a keel as they ever get in these parts.
Although many post themes have been dancing around in my head, none have taken a firm hold. Except one.
Over the course of our own incredible journey, I have fought many entities for many things. Doctors, insurance companies, public agencies and schools. All trying to get what was needed for my complicated kids.
Many times -- although grueling -- we've succeeded. But there is one foe that I cannot seem to conquer. One opponent so formidable, it is impervious to any strategy to defeat. And it is so pervasive, it affects every area of our lives.
Public enemy #1? Preconceived notions.
I've come to realize just how rare it is to find those possessing an open mind. No matter how much data, how much information I can come up with, I am continually thwarted by those who's minds are set in nothing other than concrete.
They are seemingly everywhere: School, church, even among family and friends. They have the uncanny ability to instantly understand what is going on. If we would just listen to their sage advice, all of our problems would be solved.
Their solutions? Try harder. Be more firm. Be more consistent in our efforts. According to these experts my children are an over-coddled, under-disciplined bunch, who happen to get away with murder.
Lately, we've seen this in prevalence at Twin Sister's school. It's been an uphill battle to get her on an IEP. They are steadfast in their conviction that there is no problem at school. No pesky expert or report will change their minds.
While they will never admit to this, a string of offhand comments has slowly uncovered their mindset. "If she could just get to school on time" or "try harder" or "be better organized." are some of the things we've heard. One professional complained, "ADHD and anxiety are not the only reasons why she could be failing."
At the end of the day, I want to throw my hands up and scream, "UNCLE!"
Its a sad fact that unless these jaded foes are willing to take a second look at their attitudes, those preconceived notions remain the same. Too bad they are rarely willing.
However frustrating, I am trying to make peace with the idea that I can't fix the ignorance that exists. When I come across an immovable force, the only workable strategy is to simply go around it. Seek out the sympathetic person in the crowd and work through them instead.
And when all is said and done, I feel sorry for this bunch. They are constantly focused on the negative. In their world, those with behavioral issues are a lazy and defiant lot -- filled with malicious thoughts and actions. What a terrible place to live.
As bad as our days get, at least we have hope. And in turn hope for our kids. For this I am very grateful.
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Comments (1)
I like to give people my blessing - May you receive what you have intended for others. - Works for those who help & those who don't. lol. Sometimes its fun to sit back & watch those 'Just Try Harder' people, get visited with problems that can't be resolved with Willpower, and those who sit in judgement suddenly have the issue they were judging - such as my aunt who condemned those who lived together without marriage. Until her unmarried daughter became pregnant, but to give my aunt her due, she supported my cousin and loved her & gave them both a home. We are programmed to simplify - to make pretty much accurate judgements with minimal information- its what makes the human species so successful -- works in small communities & tribal societies with limited contact & foot travel. But in todays worldwide society - the 'right' solution one place may cause problems elsewhere. Definitely need the Open Mind, the realization that everyone does what they do for a reason & if you want someone to do things for your reasons, you gotta go to where they are at & lead them to where you are. Sometimes gently, sometimes with a 2x4.