Saturday, 16 April 2011
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The simple request I'll never forget
My son had a really rough night last night, and tough day today as well with the flu. I’ll spare you the gory details, let’s just say that we didn’t get much sleep and he didn’t eat anything today.
As the day unfolded, I continually went over in my head the next blog post that I would make about how he has never been the “sucky” type when sick, quite the contrary. He tends to just shut down, get mellow and do nothing all day. Sometimes we don’t even know he’s sick except that he’s not doing anything.
But as I prepared my boys for bed, something trumped all of that. The hours and hours I had been writing and rewriting in my head were gone in an instant and replaced with what I am writing right now. I was that surprised by it.
I am one of the very fortunate parents that does get regular hugs and kisses from his children, even though one of them has Autism. Rather than what you would call a “regular” hug and kiss though, I get them in patterns. I wrote about it here. This has become a part of our nightly routine… get them a small glass of chocolate soy milk, read a story or watch a later episode of Cat in the Hat and then off to bed, hugs, kisses and goodnight.
Tonight, because Cameron has the flu, I had to say no. Cameron stood up in his bed and said “don’t forget hugs and kisses!” and I had to say no.. not tonight. It’s most likely that he’s shared it with the family already but it’s still not wise to take the chance so I had to tell him that being sick means getting no hugs and kisses.
His arms dropped to his sides and he said “can I touch you? please? hold my hand?”
At that moment, anything else I had planned to write faded away. I had to write about this. But I never did come up with adequate words to express exactly how hearing those words made me feel.
Honestly… I had no idea just how important that was to him. For all the parents out there that seldom or even never get that kind of physical contact, here was my son pleading with me to not be denied it.
I took his hand, told him make sure he doesn’t breath on me… and pulled him up for a giant sized bear hug.
Flu or not. I’ll never deny him a hug again.
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About the Author
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- From: stuartduncan
- Name: stuartduncan
- About Me: Work from home father with 2 boys, one with Autism and one without. Learning all I can as I push for Autism Understanding and Acceptance.
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Comments (15)
As an Aspie (I'm 21), not being able to hug and kiss my mom when I was/am sick kills me too!! It has always been part of our routine, and it makes me cry--I understand her reasoning, but again, since it's part of our routine, it throws me off. Eventually she just let me...she was never a strep carrier anyway or got the disease. I love and need that physical touch more than anything-it calms me down and recenters me. Being denied it stresses me out.
Awwww
That is too adorable!
awwww....i'm an awkward hugger. =( i wish i grew up with it :(
Oh, this is precious. Absolutely precious!
That is soooooo cute. :3
Things like this, just really touch me. I was tearing up, so sweet. <3
Poignant! Memorable! Joy-filled!
^__^
Your little one certainly sounds sweet. :)
I can't say I've ever withheld hugs and kisses when my kids were sick. Honestly, I find it a little odd to do so. If they were much older and hugs and kisses were less frequent and less wanted by THEM and when they can clearly understand the reasoning then perhaps but, not in early childhood. The most I may change is kissing them on the forehead instead of on the lips. I'm the one taking care of them so my exposure is already certain. I don't mean to put a sour note on a special moment but, IMO there is no reason to stop handing out love in a physical manner when a child is sick unless you have an illness that becomes severe if you contract a virus. In those times they seem to benefit from it most. I hope I'm not in the minority here....
never underestimate the power of touching another person.
@MyGlosoli@xanga - I'm in complete agreement. :)
I must say I totally agree too with @MyGlosoli@xanga - Your child sounds real sweet!
I think a hug is ok, that won't get you sick itself. You can't deny your sweet child that, better take some chances
great entry, this made me tear up