Friday, 15 April 2011

• Jorge: Another Older Brother

  

  One year ago yesterday, the Howe family opened up our house and our home to a foreign exchange student from Spain. Long story short, he played on Joshua's high school soccer team and the coach kept sending out emails "Please open up your home to this young man." Scott and I had talked about hosting a foreign exchange student when we first married. We decided to wait until Josh was off to college. So for six weeks Scott and I each ignored the email pleas. We didn't even talk to each other about the emails.

  
  Then another email came home on the last day of school before the two week Winter Break. The original host family had a change in circumstance and needed to move on short notice. I hit "forward" on the email and typed a note on top of the coach's email. "Scott, can we at least talk about this over the break?" 

  
  Scott called back five minutes later, "We don't need to talk about it. I've known since the first email that the Lord wants us to take him into our home. I just didn't say anything to you because I knew you'd jump at the chance."
  
  
  We called the supervisor. During the next two weeks we had an in home interview and a background check completed on us. Jorge's original host family brought him over Saturday, January 3, 2009, which happened to be Joshua's 16th birthday party. Although we preferred to have some time to get to know Jorge when he first arrived, in hindsight having him arrive amid the normal chaos in our home was probably the best way to be introduced to the Howes.
  
  
  Jorge arrived at our home around 3:00 p.m. when there were a half a dozen younger neighborhood kids in our home playing with Jonathan and Faith. Five minutes after Jorge arrived, Thomas, Josh's crazy friend, arrived. (For those of you who have read the blog for awhile, this was Thomas "Honeybuns") Three hours later about 20 teenagers showed up for Joshua's birthday party. Since Jorge knew Thomas from soccer and most of the teens from high school, Jorge seemed to fit right in the first night. He didn't start unpacking his belongings until after 10 p.m. that night. He agreed to get up and go to church with us at 8 a.m. the next morning.
  
  Since Josh and Jorge shared a room (a first in Joshua's life), the room was too small for me to come in while Jorge unpacked. So the younger kids and I sat out in the hallway and talked. Actually Faith didn't talk to Jorge for the first week. Jonathan warmed up to Jorge by the end of the night.
  
  The next day after lunch was the first time we had an opportunity to tell Jorge about Jonathan's Asperger's Syndrome and what it would look like in daily life. It was during that conversation that I suddenly wondered what the heck I was thinking when I suggested we bring a foreign born teenager into our home. Autism is "autismo" in Spanish, but Jorge had never heard of it. We explained that Jonathan was still having wetting accidents and occasional bowel accidents. We explained how we handle it. We told Jorge that we have two designated "naked zones" in the house. Jonathan can only be naked in his room or the bathroom. If Jonathan is naked outside those zones, then Jorge need to remind Jonathan of the rules. We talked about the meltdowns, the hyperactivity and the picky eating. Jorge said, "Well, everyone is different. Some are more different than others. Doesn't make anyone wrong."

  As it turns out, Jorge and Jonathan became as thick as two peas in a pod. From the second night, Jorge would hang out in Jonathan's room reading or playing with Jonathan. Jorge and Jonathan both loved the trampoline, swinging on the chin up bar, doing handstands and playing practical jokes.
  
  Jorge turned 17 while he was here. So he was the "oldest." He was a perfect addition to our home. See how he looks like he belongs? For the first time when we were out in public, no one asked Joshua how he fit into the family - that is as long as Jorge only smiled. If Jorge spoke, his Spanish accent would give him away. See how Josh and Jorge are about the same height, have the same skin coloring and both have dark and wavy hair?

  

   

   

   

  I've been very lucky in my life to live four decades and not experience a significant loss of a loved one. But, now that Jorge lived with us seven months and became part of our family, I understand what people say when they say, "Not a day goes by that we don't think about or talk about them." Not a day goes by that someone in the family doesn't mention how much we miss Jorge. I don't think I could love him more if he was born to me.
  
  

  Luckily the two families seemed to have formed a bond and we do keep in touch via email, mail and Skype. Josh is hoping to visit Spain this summer. I hope to go visit Jorge in Spain someday too. In closing I have to show you the before and after photos of Jorge. The first was taken just before his parents put him on the plane to live in America for one year.

  We love and miss you, Jorge! We are so glad you came to live with us a year ago!

  
  

  • 4:00 PM
  • 555 Views
  • 0 eProps
  • 0 Comments