I completely understand why Good Friday and Easter make no sense to anyone outside the Christian tradition, especially as these commemorations of very serious events often coincide with egg hunts and ingesting jellybeans. Or as a little card my friend sent to me put it: "Adorable candy will help distract us from the astounding horror of a man being nailed to a cross."
In the spirit of full disclosure, I got my kids some nice chocolate rabbits, but mostly because I want to help eat them. In fact, I'm committed to telling my kids about Good Friday and Easter because there is no Christianity without these events. Tonight, our family did a little service called Tenebrae. You light 12 candles and read the story of the last supper and crucifixion. Along the way, you extinguish candles. Martin and Sasha were more than happy to participate in that part.
When I put Martin to bed, I asked him about the story he heard. "What happened to Jesus?" I asked him. Martin stayed silent for awhile and then said, "I don't know." After a pause, I said, "In that story, Jesus died." Martin looked at me awhile. The he asked, "He dived?" "No," I answered, "He died." "No," Martin said, "He dived. He dived into the water with a splash. And then he fived. He fived with all the other numbers." I waited for him to finish with his verbs that rhyme with "died." When he did, I said, "I guess you heard the story differently than I did."
Maybe I should expect utter nonsense when I tell a five-year-old autistic kid about a state execution with religious significance? Or maybe the Easter part of it will be easier for him to understand than the Good Friday story? Whatever the case, I feel the need to keep trying, to give him a chance to hear something and take it in as best he can. I don't want him to come back to me as a grown person and wonder why I tried to obscure the hard stuff with some chocolate rabbits.
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Comments (4)
Bless you.
Congrats on tackling a hard concept! Trying to explain Easter and Christanity (really, almost any religion) and trying to make sure they fully grasp the idea of it is hard for ANY parent and child. Personally, I'm not sure how I would have reacted or what I would have said. (I don't have kids yet.)
Depending on your children's development (only you know), I may want to revisit the idea of it a few times to really drive it home. Even if Jesus dived. I also may want to might make it a yearly thing to revisit every Easter to explain the story. (Hey, I'm a stickler for traditions. :D I have to watch the 10 Commandments every year because my grandmother used to watch it with us every time we went to Florida on Spring Break.)
Don't forget he's also 5. While 5 year olds GENERALLY know the idea of death, they may not understand the context of Jesus' death in Christianity. I suggest talking to his therapists and teachers as a way to put it in such a way for him to grasp it. If it helps you, you also may want to talk to a pastor or research it about it so that you can give him the clear facts. (I know a few Aspies. One was a little boy who knows a lot about game shows. That was his bit. He loved game shows. I mean, a co worker and I would ask him about shows and he knew dates, particular shows, hosts... Yeah. I was just amazed! :D )
From a Christian perspective I understand your blog, but from an existentialist one I think chocolate bunnies are far preferable if one is to bring up a logical and clear-thinking person.
I came for the image of the chocolate bunnies... but I read your entry... good job Mom!
Christianity makes the least sense of all religions... God gives us free will to believe or not to believe?? What was he thinking??!!
There was a genetic breakthrough this week in science... one of the scientists remarked how amazingly elegant & simple was Nature's solution for some aspect of DNA... Nature's?? As though nature were some sort of force or... a God!! My roomates 7yr old has Down's, so I'm aware of the challenges... keep up the good fight Mom!
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