Saturday, 12 March 2011
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7 Gifts to Give Family with Autism

Here are seven gift Ideas that I believe every family with autism will enjoy.
Your Time
Offer to watch the child with autism so that the mom/dad can do some holiday shopping of their own, or so that the couple can have a quiet meal together and regroup. Holidays are stressful for everyone. Imagine having a child with extreme sensitivity to lights, sounds, people and places. It can be next to impossible to take the child to a crowded mall, especially during holiday times. Being available for the family is one of the best gifts you can offer.
Your Help
If you are at the mall and see a mom or dad with a child who is having a difficult time, ask if you can help. Even if the parent declines your offer, just the mere gesture can help the parent feel less stressed and embarrassed. And we all know that when a parent is less stressed, the child will be more relaxed.
Your Place in Line
If you are in the front of a line and see a parent with a child with autism in the back of the line, offer them your place. Sure you are in a hurry, but it can be very challenging for a child to have to wait in line. Your generous offer can make the world of difference to that family.
An Invitation
Invite the family with autism over for dinner. Yes, you recall that Jason is prone to outbursts, that he eats with his fingers and he can't sit for very long. But you don't know how much your invitation could mean to a family. Before founding The Miracle Project, there were times when Neal and I had to spend holidays by ourselves. Holiday times can be very lonely. No one wants a whirling dervish at their home. But just once, take a risk. Even if the family declines, you are giving them the greatest gift of all by inviting them.
A Meal
Bring a holiday meal to the family with autism. Or bring over a movie with popcorn to their house. This way, the family can enjoy being together without having to be out in the crowds. This year, Neal was going through some health challenges, and we were not able to attend any of our friends' or family's holiday dinners. My girlfriend Vida insisted that I come to her party and pick up "Chanukah-to-go" to take home to Jeff and Neal. She talked me into staying a few minutes to hear her 90-year-old dad recite the Hanukkah blessings. Her thoughtfulness will be remembered always.
A Simple Gift
Call and ask what the child is interested in. Sounds simple, yes? But it's not always understood. Sometimes our kids aren't that interested in what other kids are interested in. There was one year that Neal was passionate about Tupperware containers. A very thoughtful friend wrapped up 10 containers with lids. I still remember the excitement in his eyes as he unwrapped each piece!
Another idea is to rally a group of friends together and contribute toward a class the child would like to take and the parents can't afford. Families with autism are often strapped for funds, and programs can be costly.
Unconditional Love
The most important gift you can give to a family with autism is your unconditional love and support. This is the gift that will keep on giving.
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Comments (7)
Great post! These are soooo true. Asking is always the best way to find a gift for an autistic child... but if you already know the parents' or child's preferences, even better! My little brother loves anything that can be spun/rotated, his favorite go-to toy being hangers. Clothes or gift cards are always great gifts too as the money the parents spend towards necessities might be directed towards therapies instead. And I know from experience with my little brother (he's low functioning) that a child can never have enough shirts (in case he's particularly messy/enthusiatic or stressed/high behavior during meals) and underwear (in the case of the occasional #2 accident or stains). Anyways, autistic children are outgrowing their clothes as fast as non-spectrum children!
Having worked in an autism clinic for one week, I finally see what parents have to go through. Thank you for the list!
Amazon
I would add an iPad to the list, especially now that Craig's List and ebay have tons of iPads due to the new one coming out. They have great apps for autism; be it communication, behavior charts, schedules, etc. there's an autism app for that. It also gives the parent the gift of time because the child will likely be totally engrossed in an educational game on it so Mom & Dad can relax for a bit! It's really an amazing device for families with ASD.
I love the Simple Gift Idea! So beautiful. I love to tell people about my sons. And if people ask it is even better. People want to understand. A friend of mine is a Grandmother of 3 Autistic children she is so evolved with them! And knows what each likes. For Christmas she gave the youngest one some big silverware that he loves to drop over and over and over again. It is fun to find out what these kids love because it opens up a whole new idea for gift giving, check out my blog on "Unique toys" findingsoap.weebly.com/parents-connect.html.
*Parents helping parents. The best support for parents with Autistic children is other parents! Thank you for sharing.
I think another important gift is to educate yourself on Autism.
The article is worth reading, I like it very much. I will keep your new articles.
Air Max
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I have far too many friends with kids who land in equally various spots on the spectrum. While I don't always grasp their conflagration, I get it to a point. I can at least empathize, and very certainly NOT make nasty comments about controlling their kid etc. I was blessed to gain this knowledge through my friends sharing their experiences with me. It has been a gift to me that they shared this knowledge, so that I could go into the world with a different perspective of the way they must live, and treat their brothers and sisters differently than the rest of the world treats them.
And quite honestly, while this list applies to how to serve families with kids on the spectrum, it applies to everyone else in the world too. Instead of beating up each other, why not lend a hand, be a neighbor and friend, and leave a positive imprint on those you interact with on a daily basis?