I am happy to report that so far this week is going exponentially better than last. Big Brother is back home and doing much better. His meds were tweaked, along with his attitude, and it looks like we'll be getting some in-home help again to hopefully keep him on track.
That said, I'm mad. Steaming mad.
Recently, we had Twin Sister evaluated for possible learning difficulties. No matter how hard she tries, she is struggling so badly in school, we felt it was time to look into the whys.
This is not the first time she was evaluated. Far from it.
We started our journey of diagnosis roulette back in third grade. Her very perceptive teacher had concerns about her attention and her ability to grasp math. She was referred for testing and promptly declared "perfectly average" by the IEP team.
Continued behavioral issues lead us to another series of evaluations that landed her their respective diagnoses: ADHD, Bipolar, Generalized Anxiety Disorder.
All the while she struggled through school. Conferences were always filled with examples of how she missed the mark, yet had a great attitude and tried so hard. Even though her grades were not good, she always managed to pass. So our concerns about her performance were continually met with the same reassurance.
"She's right where she should be." The teachers may have bought into this. Same with the administration. And, although we had those nagging doubts, we even went along with it. The only one not on board was my girl.
Over the years her self esteem plummeted. She thought she was dumb. She'd cry and ask why she got a 68% on a test, and was perplexed when her teacher told her she did "fine." To her, the message was loud and clear.
"That's the best you can do." Today, we found some answers. But with each discovery came a whole host of other questions.
You see, she has problems with visual processing. She can't adequately take in visual input, including numbers and other symbols. And her grasp of written language -- its construction and her ability to find the right words --is also problematic. Terms like Visual Processing Disorder and Non Verbal Learning Disability were tossed around. But of course no definitive diagnosis. That would require further evaluation. Oh brother!
With all this information, you may be wondering what has gotten my goat so badly. After all, I have answers.
Don't get me wrong. The answers are great. But quite frankly the timing sucks.
My daughter is in seventh grade. That means that she has been in school for almost eight years. And in all that time, only one teacher had enough guts to speak up about her performance. The others just pushed her through, not taking the time or energy to question why this extremely bright child was having such a tough time of it.
Even when she was tested, the SPED staff was all to quick to discount any of her difficulties, chalking them up to immaturity or socializing or disorganization. When all else failed, they just blamed the parents. We needed to keep her up with her homework, work harder on her multiplication facts or make sure she was reading the prescribed book every evening.
In the end I am just floored that with all the talk of Response to Intervention, No Child Left Behind and all the other platitudes our there, that my child continued to fall through the cracks. And I can't help but wonder how many others there are like her out there. There is something seriously wrong with an educational system that turns a blind eye to this.
My daughter probably has a learning disability. Who knew? And that's what's so disturbing.
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Oh my goodness! That is pretty close to my story with my oldest daughter (now a senior in high school). I took her out of school (she was only one of three kids in her class who ended up with the Excellent Spirit award for her excellent character)... and have homeschooled her, but even through homeschool coops, the teachers would say she wasn't trying hard enough or whatever when I knew she was putting more effort in it than any of the other kids, with much poorer results. Since we are homeschooling now, I took my daughter in for several tests and they discovered that she had a pretty bad case of a Visual Processing problem. It has been frustrating for her and me, and since she isn't in regular school since we got the diagnosis and she doesn't have an IEP she couldn't get any extra time on the ACT test so she obviously scored low (since she NEEDS the extra time for processing info- the doctors have said so even if the stupid ACT test people are idiots and wouldn't allow it). She is a sweet girl, and smart, just not in reading speed or spelling.
Wow. That is infuriating. While my sister and I were both blessed by falling into the "gifted" category, I have a ton of friends that are diagnosed ADD, ADHD, dyslexic, bipolar, Asperger's, and high-functioning autism, or a combination thereof. This has opened my eyes to the value of a diagnosis. Yes, it can be stigmatizing, but for people like your daughter it validates that they are not stupid - they just have a problem. It becomes a climbable hurdle rather than an insurmountable permanence. I hope that now your daughter will be able to get the help she needs to overcome her visual processing problems.
If it helps, I have one friend that uses one of those recording pens for every lecture. She says it makes a huge difference (she has a learning disability as well, though she never confided in me what type, and I'm not one to push the matter). They use special paper in conjunction with a pen that contains both a camera and a microphone to visually record what you write while audio recording what the teacher says. You can then play it back and load it onto your computer, so you can listen to the lecture over and over WHILE looking at the notes. Its supposed to be very good for auditory learners.