@raspberryjade@xanga - "why won't you get a good job? you don't need to list the fact that you have aspergers on your resume.
I think a lot of it has to do with your negative thoughts."

I wish I'd had people saying stuff like this to me when I needed it most.  The problem with jobs are that many of them create stab-in-the-back dog-eat-dog kinds of relationships, very competitive.  And people who don't automatically fit in well and recognize the social dance don't usually get a lot of moral support.  I loved all my jobs but felt driven out by bosses and sometimes coworkers because I couldn't conversationally 'play ball' or correctly play the submissive role or whatever.

I think kindness like yours from more and more people will solve the asperger's crisis faster than anything.  The hardest thing to face sometimes is knowing you are 'defective' and still pretending to pull off a decent normal before someone has fun dissing on you.

And no offence to anyone, but it's ~really~ hard sometimes to forget you don't have a blaring social deficit that mangles your day when it happens over and over.  Takes time, and lots of patience and forgiveness from others.  Bless everyone who lets us roll off.

@ItIsAllGravy@xanga - Agreed. I honestly don't think half the diagnoses these days are real. Too many kids are popping prescription pills for a disease they don't have.

My best friend is autistic. I love him with every ounce of my heart and think he's one of the best people I've ever known. He hides his autism well and for the most part is a fully functioning regular adult. It only truly comes out when he's in a stressful situation with strangers. But he's a paramedic and kicks ass helping others - he just lacks something that a lot of people with autism, asperger's, and other diseases do (hell, even people without disease) - and that's confidence. It makes dating extremely difficult for him. Honestly, I think if you work hard on your confidence, embrace who you are and what you have, things will look up. People don't care what you have, but rather, how you work with it.

*wondering if you are my fiance's brother*

People without social inclinations can often have some of the most high-paying jobs. Your reasoning is apparently being tampered with by your depressive and negative thinking patterns. Social skills are learnable. Read a motherfucking book. Many people are socially inept. They overcome it. Do the same. By the way, Asperger's syndrome is bullshit. the people who are wrognly diagnosed with this simply have a certain personality. google the phrase "INTJ Mastermind" and you'll see what i mean. There's a massive pharmaceutical-medical complex, and it is out for you and your parents' money.

whats holding you back is your negative thoughts and lack of self esteem not your aspergers. 

I've never been diagnosed with anything, but when I was a kid, I was always being treated as if there was something "wrong" with me, being taken to therapists and doctors trying to figure out what it was. It was never my parents' intention that I go through life feeling like a freak, but I have only recently started to realize that I'm a person, just like everyone else.  I just happen to see the world differently and have the ability to write music. Sometimes I do wish I was more "normal" (whatever that means), but I've also realized that it's ok not to be. But growing up, I always felt like a freak and felt like no one could ever really like me because I was too weird.

No matter what your diagnosis or label is or has been, it doesn't make you any less valuable as a person.  People who have been diagnosed with Asperger's still get jobs (and relationships), it just has to be the right one for your skills.  If you're awesome at math (for example) but not so great at social interactions, then find a job that requires more working with numbers than with people. That's true for everyone, whether they have Asperger's or not.  I'm horrible at Chemistry, for instance.  But that just means I'd be a horrible doctor and has nothing to do with how good a musician I'd be.

there is a zen buddhist saying.......     if you walk around with shit on the tip of your nose then where ever you go all you will smell is shit (despite the lilies, sea sweet air, freshly mown lawns)  ........     i like that saying because it is a true-ism.  if we walk around with a thought caught in our head then it colors everything we enter into.   life holds challenges for everyone, everyone, everyone.  i heartfully hope and trust that you find the way to reconcile and see beyond the shit and move on....

Thanks for the post. I'm a mother of five, and things sure are alot different now, raising my 2 and 3 year old than they were 21 years ago when I raised my older children. I am shocked at all the labeling that goes on. Sometimes it's needed, sometimes it's not.

Just reading these comments..makes me feel like people don't understand ANYTHING. They think, it's oh a label and you can just rise above that..but NO, people do treat you differently and they MAKE you aware of how different you are. They never do stop doing that..and you'll be forever looked upon because of your disease. I may not be autistic, but I'm a bipolar..and when I have my moods..I can't explain them to people..and get blamed for things I did when I'm extremely manic. It's not my fault and they make me feel guilty because of what I have, and they do treat me differently. 

As someone who works in an audiology clinic, I see a lot parents come in with their kids looking for some kind of diagnosis because the kid is not performing well in school or is having social problems. They drag the poor kid around from specialist to specialist unwilling to accept the fact that their kid is just lazy or a jerk or, like in your case, just DIFFERENT. The sad thing is that even if the kid was somewhat normal before the "diagnosis shopping," they won't be normal by the time it's over. It's not uncommon for parents to come to the clinic looking for a diagnosis of central auditory processing disorder (CAPD) without even mentioning trouble hearing ONCE during a background history. 

I do believe there are people out there who genuinely have Asperger's. But I think it's a mistake to think that every person who is different is ill or needs a medical diagnosis. And I think that constantly trying to find medical/psychiatric diagnoses (i.e. ADHD, Asperger's, CAPD, etc) to explain kids' behavior is a BIG mistake. 

i dont believe in that disease. i think it's made up, just like ADD, ADHD, and other "syndromes". you shouldn't believe you have it. just prove everyone wrong. you can communicate however you want if you set your mind to it.

Our society really loves labels, huh? I mean, how many kids out there have ADHD? Try all of them. Any kid that gets put in front of a psychiatrist is going to be labeled with ADHD because they're a bit fidgety. All kids are. That's their thing. I'm so sorry you have been feeling this way. I never feel that I've lived up to all that "potential" I showed my parents and teachers in elementary school. I don't think I ever will. Expectations, both in that optimistic & suppressing sense, are incredibly annoying, and I am sorry you have been subjected to this bullshit phenomenon for so long. I wish I could just tell you to say "fuck it, I don't have it anymore . . . hell, I never had it!" and make you feel better. I know that's not enough. (Again, thank you Society, you asshole.) But, what I can tell you is I don't know many people who have no trouble talking a girl/guy they think is cute without the help of a few drinks (and by a few, I mean enough to forget the night). And, I don't know many people who can talk to a professor after class. (I sure as hell can't-I hide behind e-mails because I always forget in person what I had to say.) And, I don't know many people who can glide through an interview, without mentioning some awful previous job experience or visibly sweating.