In editing Autisable, and having a son with Autism who has challenges speaking, it's difficult at times to watch children go through life like I did - with a sense of relative normalcy. Maybe it's because I don't know if my son will ever graduate school, get married, and enjoy life like the rest of us 'normal' people. It's that lack of knowing that can pull one into a state of stress and emotions that reach far beyond what the average person has to deal with.
So, this past week I came across an article and video that is rather inspiring - and in many respects provides a sense of hope.
Hope of what may be possible with my own son.
After reading the story - HERE - and watching the above video - I found myself in the midst of the struggle this young man's parents went through. It reminded me that I'm not alone, and that there is hope.
With the overwhelming sense of emotions at imagining my own son giving that speech - I cried like a little baby.
(hey men cry....deal with it)
What is the most random thing that has ever made you cry?
I can certainly sympathize. My younger brother has Asperger's and he is attending a community college right now. However, next year, he is going to try and transfer to a university. The question is: can he live on his own? He wants to study engineering so he'll certainly have to study away from home.
When I watched Titanic a couple weeks ago. I must've seen that movie about 30 times in the last 13 years but it never moved me, ever. It was never anything special. And I've never cried from a movie or TV show ever in my life. and then it made me cry. I bawled like a baby.
I cried when my 36 year old son filled his cup with lemonade from a soda fountain, and then put on the lid and peeled back the paper from a straw and stuck it into the hole. Due to his very poor fine and gross motor skills he was unable to do any of this before. As I watched him accomplish this huge task I cried. He looked at me wondering why I was crying. It is the small things in life that we need to pay attention to, because all the small things added together will become grand. I may never see my son give a speech like that, but it doesn't matter. What helps me is to see some type of growth and maturation no matter how small. It gives me HOPE something no one can ever take away from us. My son fills me with hope and that is what I share when I go out speaking. I love what I do.
My son was unofficially diagnosed with PDD-NOS (he has his evaluation on July 12th for a formal diagnosis to be put into his records) and he has a severe speech delay. Every time he says a word or a partial word it brings tears to my eyes. At his last speech therapy session, it was perfect. He said (or tried saying) every word the therapist gave him and he did so wonderful. I am so proud of him!!
A LOT of random things make me cry... often, it's a combination of things...... Once, when something ...not good was happening, I thought of my close friend who I'm not really that close with, and a character she made up (she likes to make up characters with background stories), and just started crying, hard but silently; and the funny thing is that, though it was a bad situation, nothing that happened prior to that thought made me cry (only felt stunned in that way..when something shocking happens)....... Of course, i can think of reasons why that made me cry, like psychological whatever, but it seemed pretty random to me........ and sometimes really happy things make me cry..just because they're so happy?
The last thing to make me cry was your post, this video... :)
I have autism. I have several certificates and degrees and am very intellectual. I also have had two husbands (the first ended with his death) and two sons on the spectrum (at different ends). I have love, happiness, and joy in my life.
My mom told me recently: "You know, I prayed for the day you would talk or tell me you loved me. Now I pray you'll learn the beauty of silence!" :)
No matter where your child is on the spectrum, he or she ALWAYS has hope. The thing is just this: we do things kinna like God. In our time, in our own way. There's no rushing it. If @amaliastarr 's son did his drink thing at age 36, that was just HIS timing. Other things will come from that. Your son may do it at age 7 or 17... or he may never do some things you'd hoped for.
But... keep the hope cause it's never hopeless. Never!
I remember the first time I heard the word "autism." Doug Floutie (sp) had come out saying his son had it and I obsessed over it. I had not been told my diagnosis as a child. I didn't know I had it until adulthood. Then the next time was that movie, "Miracle Run" with the special mom of two boys with autism (twins). Awesome movie: made me bawl like a baby every step of the way. And that (if I recall correctly) was before I knew my sons had it for sure.
My youngest son talks like this young man in the video. I worry about him and then some days, he'll show me again, I have nothing to worry about! He has six girlfriends (he's EIGHT!), he can hold a conversation (albeit about infomercials and Godzilla is his best stuff), and he can now get himself dressed (albeit with his shirt or shorts or both backwards and missing his underwear or socks) and he can make a sandwhich. Those are the important things to me: daily hygiene and grooming; feeding himself so he won't starve; and his finding people who appreciate him just the way he is. Since he's already got that, I don't have to worry no more :)
While it took some time to get from there to here, there's always, always, always hope. Pardon my rambling post here.. I'm tired and it's late and I quit a writing gig so I have lots of leftover words for today I'm trying to make up for :)
You are so right our children/adults have their own timing. Brandon wasn't able to tie his shoes until he was fifteen, and he has that skill forever. Does it really matter when our children mature and develop as long as they continue to do so? @heatherbabes -
@amaliastarr - Exactly. And in that way, they're like everyone was else on this planet called a human being. We're always learning new things in life. Everyone... spectrum or not because the difference between a rut and grave is learning :) or something like that. LOL
About Me: Yeah, I'm "That Guy" that has the BFN Online Store that sells Official Xanga.com stuff. I also have the BFN Toolbar, connecting Xangans and providing embeddable content to blogs/sites. You can follow me on Twitter at http://twitter.com/edlives. I'm also a father of an autistic child, and a site editor for Autisable.com