No one can argue that there aren't a lot of helpful people in my life: 2 therapists, a psychiatrist, one fantastic endocrinologist who truly cares about
all of me, a new case manager (her name is Star, and she doesn't really like cats...), and soon-to-be "Housing at Home" people who will help me budget, clean, cook, and shop.
Can you tell me what's missing from all of this?
I need someone who will go to the mall, go to the library, and do puzzles with me. Yes, Mom does all of that, but I'd love to have someone closer to my age, you know? Leigh would happily do those things, but a 4-hour-trip for a quick run to the mall is just out of the question, obviously.
So I embark on finding an aide. I will pay someone $5/hour to... be my friend. I've spent the last year trying to find friends to hang out with, and it just hasn't worked. So far, 4 people have responded to my ad on Craigslist. (I realize Craigslist has some safety issues, but they will come to the house when Mom is home to meet me). This person will help me get out in the community more, as well as hang out at home if that's what I want to do.
Wish me luck!
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Comments (38)
I noticed in your bio that it states you are a Christian, do you attend a church? If so that would be an excellent place to look for a friend. Maybe give your pastor/priest a little background and what you are looking for in a friend. Good Luck!
Sometimes the local Y has programs for adults with aspergers syndrome. Depending on where you live I would look into that. istead of Craigslist I would contact a local teaching college. I have found terrific classroom coaches for my son, who is in college, through their listserv. it might be better for you to find someone to help you out in the community if they have a real interest in special education. besides you might actually find someone who understands you too..I would also hazard a guess it will be safer.
Try meetup.com-- you can type in where you live and what you're interested in (e.g. knitting, writing, etc.) and they will let you know of groups in your area around that topic. It's a nice way to get out into the community and make some friends. Meeting around a certain topic will help you to have some common ground in starting up conversations and trying to be social, which makes it much easier.
Here's an example of a meet-up group: "Western Burbs Movies and More is a group of members looking to
participate in a variety of social activities, including: going to
movies, dining out, sporting events, festivals, comedy club, bowling,
skating, mini golf, picnics/barbeques and more. We provide a casual
atmosphere for meeting people with similar interests and making friends –
for all ages and orientations.
"
Thanks for the advice everyone, but realize that they are old posts that make it to Autisable and chances are, people have already done what they're going to do. My aide is named Sarah and she's fantastic. We go to the park, the movies, the mall, do puzzles, etc. I belong to a Meetup group for adults with ASDs, and I also have a mentor in her 60s at my church. Both good suggestions, but I was looking for someone my own age to do things with, and I'm glad I have Sarah!
Good luck! I want a friend too :( I'm not autistic or anything, but I don't and never have had friends. It's sad.
I'd be your friend, but i have a feeling we don't live in the same place. :) I have a hard trouble meeting friends. My husband wants me to get out there more and meet people but i can't help it, i love my old friends.
@forealthough@xanga - awwww!!!!!!!! I don't like hearing people not having friends.:(
I'll be your friend dog. I'm in the same boat. Let's paddle!
i need a friend tooo....=/
@rxglasshalffull@xanga - You too? Jeebus...why does everyone here lack a friend?!?!?!
Autisble do you not have any friends at all? Like...at all? As in, no one knows who you are and says hey dude lets hang out? Does the same go for the other people here?
Me..I have a few "friends" maybe but they're more like "buds"...stems more that I feel very lonely from humanity in general so much so that I can do friends stuff with people but can't eek out my personal problems (the whole length of them not just oh what cereal should i buy?) hence...i retreat!
@autisticspeaks - We're catching up. :)
you're paying someone $5/hr to be your "friend"?? girl, you seem just fine to me...i think you can go make some friends at your church or something. go dancing at a club and make some outgoing friends there!
and if you decide to go with the craigslist thing don't let them come to your house of all places! meet them at the mall with your mom.
@forealthough@xanga - Same here.
ditttttttto.
good friends are hard to find nowadays. had pretty awesome friends in childhood!!
im the same way. i moved an hour an a half away from my location (and all my friends) of 16 years four years ago. havent made a friend since. ive had my BF for two, but its not the same as having a girl around.
ever feel like youre just too old to make new friends?
Does this count?
I used to have an imaginary girlfriend. She told me I should see other people.
I'll be your friend! I'm not sure if we're the same age or in the same area, but what's a few years and a little distance btwn friends?
Also, good luck finding more friends.
Good luck girl. Everybody needs a friend.
Good luck, and sure you can )
are there any community things going on in your town? a sports team? a club of some sort with people that share your same interests?
that will give you something to do, and give you an opportunity to meet more people who like what you like to do and to do other things with! :)
it's hard for anyone to find a good friend. Good luck!
@rxglasshalffull@xanga - you have me ;)
me too.. have the same feeling like you. True friend is kinda of hard to find... =)
We can be friend's if u dont mind.. hehehe =)
I'll be your friend. :)