Tuesday, 11 May 2010
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My Autistic Son And Girlfriends
I am often asked if my 37 year old autistic son, Brandon has a girlfriend. Not at the moment, but I will share a story with you when Brandon did have his one and only girlfriend, and that was years ago.Brandon had a girlfriend for several weeks. I later found out she was very pretty and young. She may have appeared pretty on the outside, but her insides were not so pretty. This young gal didn’t have much money and wanted someone to buy her clothes, make-up, toiletries, and the list goes on. Brandon talked to his Independent Living counselor to get help on what to do, but when Brandon told his counselor that women costs a lot of money his counselor just agreed and said yes they do. He reached out for help, but didn’t receive the guidance he needed.
Several weeks passed by before Brandon began to catch on that the girl was using him for his money. He realized the girl did not like him at all. He was heart-broken and very upset. He had spent nearly $800 on someone pretending to be his girlfriend.
Brandon still stares at girls and I know deep down inside he would like a girlfriend. Although this incident happened years ago, he is still working on learning how to trust another woman. However, he did learn his lesson about finance and he has not been taken advantage since. These life lessons can be cruel, brutal, and tough, especially when our kids or adults are so vulnerable.
I am hopeful that the right girl will appear and Brandon believes that one day he will find a girl who really likes him.
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About the Author
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- From: amaliastarr
- Name: Amalia Starr
- About Me: I am a mother to an autistic adult son, a motivational speaker, an independent living coach, and author of Raising Brandon. I specialize in supporting parents of children with autism and special needs through workshops, seminars, and private sessions. Utilizing a background in sales and marketing, I was the host of a cable show dedicated to parents who had children with special needs. My results-based approach focuses on empowering both parents and their children to reach their full potential. Starr's newly released book, Raising Brandon, is an autobiographical account of her struggle to raise her son in a world where autism was not understood. The book follows Starr's life from the birth of her youngest son, his diagnosis with autism, intractable epilepsy, severe learning disorders, and her goal to help him live his dream of independence. THERE IS HOPE! www.AmaliaStarrSpeakerAutism.com
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Comments (23)
that's really sad. I hope he meets a nice woman.
It takes time, I know. The first ones always get you.
I agree, I hope he finds a nice woman. Everyone deserves someone, and I'm sure It'll happen.
It's very hard to read women or other people in general and we tend to accept words as spoken. When I met my wife I wasn't looking for a girlfriend and if I was it probably wasn't her. We became friends with interests in common and later she became my girlfriend, Im' not sure how I shall have to ask her.
I'm so sorry your son had this terrible experience. Even neurotypical people aren't immune to such things. I hope he finds someone who truly loves him. I'm sure she's out there!
i hope he meets the right person! I know its hard to trust people once you learn that they were just using you. The world is very cruel.
Best of luck to Brandon! and over come this issue of trust.
That was terrible advice given to him by his counsellor. Women do not cost a lot of money. That blanket statement is actually rather insulting to women.
I hope that your son can find a woman who loves him for him. I can totally understand him being burnt by his previous experience. Is there perhaps a social group in your area for adults with autism or even other disabilities where Brandon can meet some nice women who will value him for him to help him get his confidence back?
Thank you so much for your comment. I too am hopeful that the "right" gal will come along. @outoutout -
You are right it is very hard for Brandon to regain trust, but each day I see him inch closer and closer. Thank you for your kind wishes for Brandon. @iSharpii@xanga -
Brandon stays far away from groups, due to his past negative experiences. But all and all he is doing a great job of living independently, and has been for the past 13 years. I hope one day soon he will be able to join a group. I believe that would be good for him. Thank you for you kind words. @Riayn -
I'm really sorry for Brandon, that was a horrible thing to happen. I hope he finds someone special sometime, and soon.
that girl is such a horrible person.
I'm sorry your son got taken advantage of like that. I hope he meets someone nice, he deserves it.
The good news is, this did not happen because your son was autistic. This happened because he was open-hearted and semi-gullible.
It happens to a lot of men, especially at his age. Happens to anyone too trusting and too easily blinded by a pretty face. It happens to the best of men who're still looking for that seemingly pure young lady. In this way, he received a very common mistreatment.. if that's any consolation.
That is sad.
But I just know, he will find a woman. 
That girl is just mean :| I wanna give him a hug. I know the right girl for him is out there somewhere and I just wanna say you're such a great and sweet mom. :)
That's heartbreaking. :( The right girl is out there for him and I hope she finds him soon. :) x
Its sickening how devious people can be, but this comes as no suprise. people have been this way for a long time, hopefully he will find the right person for him :)
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That's awful. One day he will find someone who won't take advantage of him. Until them, please tell him from me that he was very strong to turn her away when he realized she was using him instead of just letting her take advantage of him like many men do these days. Please tell him i think he's very strong & smart.
I feel so bad for your son, he sounds like such a nice young man, she didn't deserve him. I'm just glad he found out before he even thought of maybe marrying her. I hope his heart heals and he meets a women beautiful inside and out!
you might want to guide him and/or help him find a girl he may like to date. perhaps another autistic girl that lives in his same facility or a similar living situation. autistic people i think would be less likely to take advantage of another autistic person. that's the beauty of being autistic. they aren't fake/money oriented. God bless, and good luck. nancy in houston and mom to a 6 yr old autistic son, non-verbal.
Ya know, I remember reading this blog a few weeks ago and I thought about it from time to time. Maybe, your son needs to get to know somebody who is a little older, and not a silly kid with bubblegum in between her ears. A woman who's been there and done that and knows what she wants. Definately somebody over 35 I would say, maybe a woman who has some kind of a disability but who is still nice to look at, and very affectionate.
Brandon seems like he loves routine, would be happy doing the same things at the same times every day. Watching the same television programs over and over and eating the same foods. I gather that people on the autistic spectrum love rituals. He's probably very consistent at this point in his life. Maybe he is sort of bearlike but very gentle, and a very passive guy in a lot of ways. He also seems like he has not taken up a lot of bad habits that men have, such as drinking, smoking, and gambling.
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