I am not a Mall shopper, but today I had to go into the Mall to pick up a gift for a friend. When I entered the Mall, it was swarming with people. I went directly to the store to pick up the gift and as I was walking I saw several teenage boys roughing up another boy. I stood there watching for a moment to analyze the situation and my mind was flooded with memories of how my son, Brandon was bullied as a kid and how he still gets bullied today.
People walked by and no one said a word or did anything, but this kid was getting hurt and I couldn’t stand by and watch any longer. I jumped into the middle of the circle and separated the boys, and in a loud stern voice, (which totally surprised me) I yelled, “Back off, leave him alone!” They quickly backed off and ran away.
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I would have interfered as well. I feel that I didn't do enough of that when I was younger - middle school was a turbulent time for me. I'd just moved away from my home state of Florida up to Pennsylvania, didn't know anyone, and was bullied quite a bit myself. I didn't pay attention to anyone else besides myself when it came to well-being, nor did I care because I was angry at having to leave Florida, even though I was picked on in elementary schools down there as well.
But it was no excuse not to step in and attempt to protect others with similar problems. I know that now and it still haunts me, and I've definitely changed my behavior. To feel proud of yourself for making another person's life better - it is SO rewarding.
I HATE teenagers and was bullied mercilessly when younger. I can guarntee you that the bullies would have left with a few bruises had I interviened.
Homeschooling and/or guns. Seriously, it's not that difficult.
Way to go, Amalia. It takes courage to stand up against bullying, but we adults are responsible to show how to do it. I hope that your intervention causes the bullies to think twice next time they feel the urge to "rough up" someone just because there are three of them against one
way to go!! that's seriously a wonderfully awesome thing you did stepping in for that boy! I'm sure he'll remember that moment forever!
Thank you for your comment. It sounds like you have come a long way.Congratulations to you! @wideopenskies@xanga -
I too dislike bullies and this nonsense must stop! My 37 year old son still gets bullied, but now by other adults. You would have thought they would have learned by now. @sarahb_86@xanga -
Hi Tara, Thank you for your ongoing support. Bullying is such a waste of time and energy. Sad to say that Brandon still gets bullied today, but now by adults. When will it ever end? @taramcclintick -
I just had to step in and help. I am a mother and my son continues to get bullied as an adult by other adults. It has to end! @icanhasautism -
@amaliastarr - Thank you :)
Physical bullying is obvious. The difficult kind is the verbal. I can tell when someone is being downright rude but I could never work out the difference between people having fun with me or making fun of me - still can't.
Also not sure how to respond to comments. if I react to a jocular remark as an insult it causes offence, often what I consider a funny response is taken as an insult so I spend a lot of time feeling really uncomfortable not knowing how to respond. A lot of the time - most of the time - I try and avoid conversations with other people.
That was, as the kids are wont to say, "a slice of yeah, with awesome sauce on the side" - you did well to intercede.
I've stepped in when it comes to physical violence. Verbal violence - I'd try to gauge if help was needed, wanted, would be appreciated.
I was bullied through school years, and eventually learned to specifically avoid bullying situations at a later time. I know it's harder for guys than girls, and it's hard for even neurotypical/"statistically average" people to discern the fine line between "just joking around" and causing harm.
I once recall being bullied by three girls in a parking lot, during my high school years. A girl I never met stepped forward, said, "Well, now that the fight's fair...", and stood back-to-back to me - and the three girls walked away. I didn't back down, but I didn't have the sense to walk away, either.
That girl who stepped in was great friends with me through that year, but we did have rough spots here and there between her trying to teach me to toughen up and me mistaking her tough love for being bullyish.
My autistic son has stepped in as the bully, after years of being bullied - I'm still trying to help him separate conflict comments vs. jocular remarks - but I often miss the cues, too. In the house, the "enough" phrase is, "Not cool, ___________ does not apply here..." - and teen versions of apologies are expected. ["Mybad - not what I was trying for." "You might be ________, but I'm _______, so don't sweat it.", etc.]
Hard to do in a full house. Harder to see when in kid pits [malls, convenience stores, bus stations, fast food restaurants, etc.].
Society's habit of, "don't get involved" is never a good idea...but it's hard to know what to do.
if youre too weak to stop things such as bullying(and possibly "WORSE") then you deserve for it to happen to you, and then you deserve to die. lol!
Honestly, I would be to shocked and scared to even interfere. I really want to help, but I'm a coward myself :(
you're a good mom and person :) after hearing all these stories mentioning about how people that could have intervened but did nothing, glad to hear one person made a difference. I thank you for his behalf too
It really gets to me how most people will choose not to get involved in a situation like that, although admittedly I myself don't have quite the same bravery. Good for you for doing the right thing. It might seem like a small gesture, but to those children your act of kindness will remain a timeless reminder that there are nice people in this world.
that was a good job you did. you are one of the good people.
if he was getting hurt and no one was coming of course i'd jump in against a pack of teen punks
you should be proud of your actions. that boy will remember this day for the rest of his life, how one stranger saved him.
Truthfully, I think a large part of me might've just watched in utter confusion and horror. I haven't really seen anything like that in my area, so I wouldn't exactly know if fighting like that was going on. In most of the cases where I've seen fighting (which was pretty little), it was usually between two guys and at those I just roll my eyes over and go back to whatever I'm doing (is that too indifferent?). I'm pretty surprised that bullying like that still happens, but your story (no offense, but real or not) encourages me to stop a fight if something stupid like a group bullying one kid happens.
I would have interfered. It is so incredibly sad how some people just don't care. I am 15, and a boy my age used to bully my little brother who is 9 and autistic. He said such mean things and at the time Jacob, my brother, didn't understand. I was appalled that anyone would have the heart to do such a thing, to a mentally healthy child even. You truly are a good person for helping that child. :)
I don't think you did anything wrong. People need to stop walking by and thinking, "not my kid," and pretending they don't see anything. I think that's why bullying is worse today than it used to be. It used to be that you had to be wary of just about any adult, because chances were SOMEone really would step in and tell you to stop and probably even find/tell your parents, who would then punish you. These days, people just take an attitude that if it isn't their kid then they don't need to worry about what is going on, and its compounded by parents who automatically say, "well it wasn't OUR kids, the other one started it," or some other such nonsense. :(
My brother is Autistic, and hes older then me. 11 years older actually. So growing up I watched people pick on him a lot which I hated because I was so little I coudln't do anything about it. When ever I got in the middle and said anything, they just laughed like it was some kind of joke. When I reached highschool, there was a boy a few grades younger then me. his name was preston. I didn't know him at all but he was a really tiny kid. He looked like he was suppose to be in like the 5th grade or something.
Kids that were even older then ME were picking on him. Beat him up in the hallways. Even teachers turned a blind eye. Seeing that brought back memories of when I was younger and seen the same thing happen to my brother. I got in the middle of it. But unfortuanatly when your in highschool and your not an adult, no one takes you seriously and they think your a joke. So naturally they started in on me too. In the end, I ended up being the one with the suspension and almost completely kicked out of school. Not my fault the boys couldn't handle their own against a girl.
In my Defence, They attacked me first. I let them get a few good shots in before I did anything. But in the end they left more banged up then I did. One even ended up having to go to the hospital for a broken wrist.
I don't usually settle things with violence. I'm not a violent person. I personally would have preferred to settle it with words. Just speak up and have them walk away. Unfortunately that wasnt working. I couldn't do anything about it. They started it and I wasn't going to just sit there and get my ass kicked. Besides... They needed a lesson.
Needless to say, They never picked on that kid again. Or any other kids that I know about.
See, Im 20 years old. It depends on the age of the guys. If they were like 9 or 10, I would have stepped in myself. If they were like 16 or something, I would have called the police.
Brandon feels the same way. He can't tell if someone is making fun of him or just playing around. He is extremely sensitive and his feelings get hurt easily. He is always on guard. @Springingtiger -