Well, I knew that one day that question would come. But now? He is 3, has Autism, and a speech delay! It caught me extremely off guard. I wasn't quite ready for it, obviously. I have thought about how i will approach the subject when he is older, but now?
He must have heard it from someone as PreK or who knows, maybe my husband said something. He isn't home so I can't ask him.
What is the right response to that?
Here was my answer, "Yes. You are mixed. Mommy is white and Daddy is black, so you are partly black. Does that make sense?"
The long pause while I wait for all sorts of other questions and understanding well beyond his years.
Waiting, waiting, and finally, "Can I watch Backyardigans Racing Day?"
"Of course you can bud, of course you can."
Guess I better start preparing for that talk about the birds and bees...
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Comments (4)
That conversation reminds me of the conversations about race we (as in his father, my husband, and I) had with my nephew after my son was born. He wanted to know why he and his brother were black, my brother was one color, I was another, and my son and my husband were "pink". He wasn't satisfied with my explanation about variation in the amount of melanin and social constructs, he didn't like the answer my husband gave about his parents being white (it still didn't explain why he didn't have the same skin tone as my brother etc). I am not sure what my brother told him, but it satisfied him.
Kids really don't care about race. It's their parents that teach them to care.
I wonder if my niece will ask that, too. Her daddy is black and her mommy (my sister) is white.
@Erika_Steele@xanga - agreed :) kids are smart until people teach them stupidity.
I live on an island where everyone knows everyone else's family so me being white and my (ex) husband black meant no one ever asked my son anything. But then we went to the US and some kids told my son that he was black and it was very hard to convince him because he had curly white blond hair, my exact colour skin (very pale, I'm a redhead) and big green eyes. He also didn't have any black features except for small ears, which I am assured is a black feature (!) However, in the US, he is "black". He didn't really get it until he was 5. That's when he noticed that the parents outside the pre-school gave party invites to only kids of the same colour as themselves (they were forbidden to do that on school grounds, on school grounds invites had to be to the entire class, which was mixed).
We're back on the island now