Wednesday, 17 March 2010

• Are you the Perfect Mother you want to be?

  How many times does a mother feel a failure?  Am I the only one?

  I think I’m a good mother, but I have more moments than I ever wish to admit where a meltdown of all that is holding me together occurs.  I don’t know why.  From playing a more-or-less single mom for 1 ½ months with the same time to go? The pressure?  The insurmountable number of aIl I have to do in order to balance family and self?  Or just what’s on the family list?  Or am I selfish for wanting, for needing a “self” list?  
  

  Mommy Meltdowns, I know are not uncommon.  For most of us, hopefully all, there’s nothing inherently ‘bad’ about them other than that they happen.  Other than that they shine a light on our inability to be perfect for all little ones, for all times.

  After my meltdowns occur, meltdowns of internal patience, understanding and wisdom of how to raise a little me, I find myself guilted.  Not guilted maybe, but full of guilt.  I bang my head against the unforeseen wall of motherhood wishing I could be perfect.

  I.  Want.  To.  Be.  Perfect.

  But alas, I am not a perfect human, how could I possibly be a perfect mother.  Are you?

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