Justin does show affection to Mommy & Daddy. I have to say he is my first born and I spoiled him with affection from the first moment he was placed on my chest, when born. I had a c-section with both kids and when Justin was born, I immediately fell in love.
Some women say that they don't immediately feel like they "love" this being that's been living in their belly making them uncomfortable all that time....not me. I always knew I wanted to be a mother. I'm glad I did wait until I was older. When you're younger your just not ready emotionally, intellectually.....life hasn't prepared you enough. So when I did have my boy at 33 I was ecstatic. I carried him ALL THE TIME. Yes I know, I did not follow any of the rules. I wanted to hold him all the time. I sang to him, he was my biggest fan. I have video footage of how he'd react when I sang.
He was very colicky and constipated from the moment I brought him home. He was so tiny and I a new mom at that time was so afraid to hurt him, he seemed so fragile. I also made the mistake of making it pin-drop quiet in the home so he wouldn't be disturbed which makes for a very sensitive sleeper to noise. I always hugged him, talked to him and told everyone how I couldn't wait until he spoke to me and said, "I love you, mommy"...til this day I wait. He tries to talk, but most of his talk is
echolalic. He doesn't really refer to me as mom, he says,
Da....for mom, for dad.....for when he wants someone to stop what they are doing if you interrupt for example his cartoons and attempt to change it.
Still Justin is affectionate and I should consider myself lucky because although he cannot talk and is most of the time in his own world, he comes over at times and hugs me, he loves women with long hair and will go over and smell their hair, or just let their hair rub on his face. He has so much energy,
in fact, I think that is who took most of my energy on his way out!...
lol, yes my little boy has his moments when he just makes me smile and laugh; he is quite a character, very self driven, confident and smiley faced, normally seems happy go lucky.
Children are such a gift, a blessing. Both my children have taught me so much for being so little.
I often wonder how this is affecting Sierra, my youngest. She is only 15 months old and to say that her environment is full of chaos and unpredictability is an understatement. She is very tough. Very independent, but nevertheless a child who is at the age of absorption. She is basically like a sponge taking everything in, so my question would be how is this going to affect her as she gets older, how has it affected her. I read a report once about how we as adults still have imprinted within us things that we took in as a child, in the earliest stages, we are being molded to what we will become as adults.
From the moment Sierra was born, I for example had a c-section that opened back up so I had to go home with an open c-section wound and have a nurse come and pack it. I wasn't able to care much for my little Sierra, family members came to help, I feel like our 'bonding' didn't happen. I would spend (and still spend), a lot of time with Justin out in therapy, doctor appointments, so daddy is with her a lot. I feel like I'm missing so much valuable time with her and I'm an at home mom! On top of that in Sierra's little world, she deals with Justin's melt downs, his lack of attention to her, she witnesses his screaming when it's time for a bowel movement and, so many things that I just wonder how it affects the sibbling of a special needs child, especially a younger one. They learn so much from their sibblings, how much of the negative autistic behavior will she learn and think to be normal and take upon herself. Yes the sibblings of a special needs child are often left in the dust. I try and make a conscious effort sometime in the day to let it be just Sierra and I doing "something" whether it's playing...., singing, learning something, but again, it has to be difficult to the sibbling(s), especially when they are that young. I had a parent tell me that one of her children asked if she loved them because she was always with the other, (special needs child). We get so consumed and stretched thin, that at times the most important things (or little ones), are not given the amount of attention they deserve and it goes unnoticed.
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My older two kids are 14 months apart. Josh is ten now. Kailey is nine. Josh and Kailey started talking at about the same time. Kailey was about 8 months old when she started talking and Josh was just about 2 years old. Kailey could use simple reasoning by about a year and a half... while Josh, at almost 3, was still pretty much just repeating what he heard. (He could read and count by this time though.) Along comes Julie, the "baby" who is now eight. The three of them have taught each other. Julie is WAY ahead of kids her age because of her big brother and big sister. Josh didn't pay any attention to Kailey for pretty much the first year of her life. Even less attention to Julie for hers. With my kids, it kinda worked itself out.
Even though Josh is much taller than Kailey, a lot of people assume that she is the oldest. She takes on that role a lot. She is a bossy little bug sometimes. She's more social, she's more aware of herself. Josh seems like he's younger than he is... but if you talk to him, he talks like he's much older. Thankfully, I didn't have the meltdowns to deal with as bad with Josh as it seems people do with other kids on the spectrum. He has his moments, but I learned pretty quick how to short circuit them... so Kai has been my more difficult one... not even on the spectrum, she has some tantrums that would fry your eyebrows.
Julie is the one who sometimes seems to get lost in the mix a bit. Kai was much more demanding than Josh or Julie. They're all good kids though.