On the right is my daughter, who volunteered at the Tall Pines Festival in our town this weekend as an usher. The festival goal was to bring people closer to Christ. The activities were used to draw them as a crowd so that they could give us their attention and hopefully save souls.
As I was trying to decide what to use as a basis for my next blog, the thought hit me. How do autistic children react to crowds? Do they just go into their own trance and tune out everything and everyone? Do they overreact because of the confusing stimulation to all their senses? Do autistic children react differently based on their individuality?
I read a couple of articles on the subject, but so far I haven't really gotten any answers to these particular questions. What I did find was that autistic children avoid eye contact. Even familiar faces seem to be a threat to an autistic child. What comes to mind now is that this must be torture for the parents of the child. It means that especially in crowds, Mom must be extra aware of her child at all times because if the child were to wander off, it could be even more disastrous than for a child without the condition. Does the child even attempt to find the mother? How is that possible if the child avoids eye contact? If the mother calls for the child, is the child able to acknowledge?
Once when my child was lost in a Kmart store, I was frantic. She was playing peek-a-boo with me around a jewelry display. I got distracted for seconds, and she was gone. It's as though she were purposely looking for just the right moment to disappear from Mom's watch. Thankfully no harm was done. What was even more shocking was how I found her. She was wandering back from the outside as I was walking to the front of the store to go outside. I can't explain the horror I felt at that moment of what "could have been". My daughter was about a year and a half at the time.
So, now that I have thought about this issue of separation and crowds, my heart goes out to mothers of autistic children. I sympathize. I feel your pain. If you can shed some light on the questions I have that have not been answered, please enlighten me. There are those of us who do not have autistic children and need and want to understand you better.
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Comments (7)
I'm not autistic, but I can't stand crowds. I completely freak out.
It depends on the individual. I have worked with a lot of autistic adults and children, and their coping skills in crowds do vary. I know some that will put their fingers in their ears, avoid eye contact, and will just stick very close to the person that they know, but then there are other people who will have a complete melt down, including running around, hitting, getting in other people's private space (since they do not usually understand personal boundries). No two autistic people will be the same. They will have common characteristics and coping skills but they will not use these things in the same situations. Of course you have to have a watchful eye, but in my opinion it's no different then just a 'regular' child, just because people who have to take care of these individuals on a daily basis have a second sense, and it just becomes part of their daily routine for the most part, or atleast that's the way I look at it.
I agree that it varies on the individual. Personally, I tend to kind of shut down all but what is necessary to keep up with whomever I'm with. If I am alone, I tune it all out and wander around mostly lost in my own world. Not the best time to try to talk to me. I can't filter the noise out to understand what is being said. It's kinda like... imagine hearing every conversation around you clearly all at the same time. There's no muffling or indistinction of voices. Each one is clear and understandable, and it is difficult to pull the focus in onto a person who is trying to actually talk to me... part of my consciousness is still actively listening to every other conversation within earshot. Responding is even more difficult since all these other things are "demanding" a response as well, even though the other conversations going on around me have nothing at all to do with me... so in order to keep my own thoughts straight, I have to talk loud enough myself to drown them out... this often has me being told by the person I'm trying to talk to, "I'm right here, you don't need to yell."
My son and I are both somewhere on the spectrum. I've only lost him twice and that was when he was about two and again when he was about four. The first time was at a dollar store. I was holding his sister and let go of his hand for a moment to get my money out of my pocket. In the seconds it took me to hand the money to the cashier, he was GONE. I looked all over the store for him with no luck. Turns out that he had wandered out of the store and into the parking lot. I had not realized that he could get the door open (it was not automatic) so I didn't think he'd have gone outside. Someone found him and brought him into the store where I was freaking out.
The other time, we were in Walmart... where thankfully, I knew half the employees. I don't think Josh realized he was lost. He was just looking at stuff and minding his own business. They ended up calling a Code Adam and locking the store down until we found him. After that, he has not ever gotten lost again. We have a system too. Rather than calling out my kids' names in a store when they wander off... we play Marco Polo. Whoever is looking for someone who's wandered off calls out "MARCO!" and listens for the responding "POLO!" People look at us like we're nuts, but it works. It is more "original" than my kids yelling "MOMMY!" which may or may not get my attention in a store full of other kids also yelling, "MOMMY!" It also does not give other people the impression that the kids are separated from me either... The impression is that they're just being silly kids playing a game in the store.
In a crowd, I'm kind of forced into my own world because I can't deal with the noise and movement. It means I have a tendency to bump into things and people, because I'm not aware enough of them. Being bumped can set off melt downs, though, because it makes my skin feel like it's on fire.
In crowds I usually go into my own space, sometimes I just have to get away and find a quiet place but occasionally if I am prevented from staying in my own space I freak out. I have learned to recognise when things are getting too much an so usually escape in time.
When I was younger I found drugs and alchohol useful for coping with large groups of people but I gather it would be irresponsible to recommend them.
I never know in advance how I will react to crowds - I do know I don't like them.
In short people regarding to childcare centers or of their own must be conscious..
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