Saturday, 27 February 2010

• Being Officially Diagnosed - My Process

  It has been a very busy week or so for me, I have accomplished more in this past week then I have in the past 6 months. A few weeks ago I was asked if I would speak on Monday in front of a Social Work class at my college as part of a disability awareness panel. Several days prior to that I had to reschedule my appointment to be retested for Asperger’s at BGSU, and I made it the same afternoon as the panel. I had to miss class to see the doctor at BGSU, but I did not want to miss my chance to speak at the panel. Luckily, for me the panel started at 11:15 and I did not have to leave for my doctor’s appointment until 12:30. The professor was kind enough to allow me to go first, but that meant that I was not going to be able to stay and listen to the other presenters. The presentation went very well, and a few people asked questions about living with ASD. One young lady that has sat next to me in another class for over a month said she had no idea that I had ASD until that moment. I even got emotional and got teary eyed a bit at the very end. A few people even came up to me and told me what a wonderful job I had done. I worried that I had bombed, but I guess I did okay.

  
  

  At 12:30 I left to head for Bowling Green so that I could get my testing done. I really needed to have something in writing showing that I had Asperger’s, and I was going to pace the floor and be a total mess until I had something in writing. I felt like my whole world was on hold, and I couldn’t breathe or relax. We got to the appointment on time, and my wife and I had to use the restroom, so we found one. After I was done I waited a few minutes for her to come out and when she didn’t I decided that I had better go to find directions to the office, and she could catch up to me later, I guess this was the wrong thing to do because she got upset with me. After we got upstairs the doctor was waiting for us, and we began filling out the paperwork, and I went back to begin the 2 ½ hours of testing.

  We got back to the testing room and began the tests, the doctor filmed my testing for possible future use as classroom training for her students or for future research, because Bowling Green’s clinics are used for teaching and training future PhD’s and researchers. After over two hours of testing her conclusion was the same as the previous tests from over a year ago. I did, in fact, have Asperger’s, but it was mild, in part because I had learned to adapt the past 39 years. I got my diagnosis in the form of a single word written across the bottom of a medical form and was told to expect the full report within 9 days. Part of me was relieved because I had waited so long to finally have in writing what I had known to be true my entire life. I knew in my heart that nothing was going to be the same after that day. A new chapter of my life was starting, and I finally had the credibility that I had sought for so long. Yet, I was sad because of those very same reasons. There it was in black in white at the bottom of that paper etched in the annuals of time forever for the entire world to see. Those two little words that held such power, and as I looked down, I read them “Asperger’s Syndrome”.

  The doctor then told me that she thought that I should go ahead and see the people that my college wanted me to see if the college was still willing to pay for it. She felt that ASD was not the only thing I may be living with. Before I even had a chance to contact the center, they had contacted me and set up an appointment. I made the appointment and took my paper from BGSU to disability services on campus so that they could open a file on me and get the ball rolling. It has been three days ago now that I went to the center for the first half of testing, which was an ability assessment and IQ test. I have not received the results of the IQ test yet, but the lady, who did the testing, said that my verbals were very high and my spatial results were kind of low. I also made the appointment for the second and final part of the testing for the middle of next week. I am hoping that she will give me my IQ results then, I am very curious to see what they are. I do not think my IQ has ever been tested before. I was told it will take about 2 or 3 weeks after the final appointment for the report to be compiled by the psychologist and there will be a final meeting to discuss the result and hear her recommendations. The college will also get a copy of the report.

  I am ready to get all of this stuff over so that I can move on with my life. Sometimes I am so happy that all of this is happening for me finally. Other times I am very sad and hurt that I have to go through all of this at all. My wife went to all the IEP meetings for my daughter and the boys, and they are a nightmare. So much red tape and forms, and sitting there like you are on trial, having all of your faults and shortcomings pointed out. I will keep you informed as I find out more.

  
  

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