Having a child with autism you spend a lot of time managing behaviors, theirs and your own. You wake up each morning and proclaim that today will be different. It will be way better than yesterday and we are finally taking that positive turn.
Then as the day creeps by, sometimes lingering beyond a reasonable measure, things may start to crumble and the behaviors start their usual descent into all the stuff you know is not good.
By nightfall you are spent and ready to call it quits. You lay your head on the pillow and try to turn your mind off so you can get the much needed sleep that is required to start this all over again the next day. You pray and ask God to give you strength and question how much is too much for a human to take. He should know because he created us and in my feeble sinful nature I dare to say in creating us he somehow is responsible for this mess.
I'm just saying, sometimes it's like an out of control freight train that can't be stopped. In reality you know it's going to stop eventually but not without a horrible crash and burn.
Unless... Unless there is an intervention of magnificent proportions. This mediator would have to have characteristics of a comic book super hero so he could just survive the jump on to the out of control train or have the capability to
teleport himself on to the train without ever touching one ounce of steel.
Oh me of little faith! I haven't lost it, truly I haven't, I'm just tired and venting. I know that no one is reading this stuff anyway so it's just a way of praying out loud. Putting it all out there because it's already out there. You can't hid from God even if you are stone cold silent.
So on this day I'd like to humbly request that God, my Magnificent Lord of Intervention, hang out at my house for a little while.
Please accept my invitation.
Amen
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Where do you find the strength to carry on in times of difficulty?
Comments (9)
Amen sister, I too am a parent of an autistic little girl and there are many days filled with exhaustion and a few with tears. Its those beautiful smiles that I eek out of her and milestones that we reach (finally! whew!) that keep me going so I say to u, keep up the good work! We are the strong ones out there, making huge leaps without reward from the outsiders, but with the greatest respect in the eyes of God. Blessings!
God is able to make all grace abound to you so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. 2 Corinthians something or other... I think there is an 8 and a 9 involved, but I can never remember the order...
This is how I translate that verse:
God has already caused an immeasurable amount of undeserved favor to be dumped out on you, so that no matter what you have to do, no matter when you have to do it, you will have all the time, all the money, all the resources, all the people, strength, and everything else you need to do an unnumbered amount of good things.
It isn't about what we can do. It isn't about who we are. It is about who HE is and what HE HAS ALREADY DONE. If you are a believer, you're not a sinner anymore, you're a saint that makes mistakes on occasion... BIG DIFFERENCE. Since through Christ you inherit EVERYTHING God has for you, you're seated with Him. You're a daughter of the King. Ask for whatever you want, and because He loves you, it's yours.
I think that half of our trouble in life is that we don't really BELIEVE that, so we continue to just act and think as though we're nobodies out here struggling on our own. I've come to the conclusion that we LIVE what we really believe. We say a lot what we'd like to believe, but how we live shows what we really believe. This is not saying that we do a lot wrong... it's saying... if you believe that you're a child of God... start acting like it. How does that look? How did Jesus act? What did He do? What was His attitude? Really read the Gospels, look at Jesus as though Church has never told you anything about Him and see who He is. :) You'll be amazed at what power we have at our disposal.
To all who don't believe and might be offended by this... sorry. I'm speaking to a sister in Christ, not to you. Please do not trash me for sharing my heart.THANKS. For those who would like to know more about why I'm saying this and where I'm coming from, I'll be happy to get into it with you. :)
No one is a nobody. My mother had me, then my asthmatic brother, then our educable mentally retarded brother. Three strikes, but she was never out. Now, as a saint of 81 years, she can know that two of us landed on our feet, because of our parents. My little brother has been gone for 16 years, but we treasured him.
You are a beautiful soul. Keep up the miracle you are working.
Strength come from God alone and HE is the only one we can turn to in time of need. It is my prayer that God in his infinite mercy will see and care for all MOM who are experiencing autism.
If you believe that God loves you then whatever he sends you must be for your benefit because it is not in his nature to do otherwise. If God is all powerful nothing happens unless he wills it. Logically everything that happens to you must be a blessing all you have to do is recognise it. In moments of deperation you could always fall back on Paul's comment that God will not test you beyond your strength.
What is it with God anyway? If he is omniscient then he has no need to test us because he already knows the answer.
I'm reading. I'm not a religious person but I admire the way you use your faith to gain the required strength to get through the day. I too can relate to the exhaustion of day to day life with a child who has autism, they are our pride and joy and our love runs deep for them, but oh my, it's hard work. We make sacrifices above and beyond our peers whose children do not have special needs, we push boundaries and fight hard every day, and some days feel more futile than others. To focus on positives takes a lot of determination, but those tiny steps our children take are a joy to behold, every little achievement is worthy of gold medals and lavish celebration.
We must remember to take care of ourselves though. If we are not in top shape, then we are less able to cope. It is appalling that we need to fight so hard just to get a few hours respite, a little extra sleep, a moment to ourselves, but it must be done, else we would never shower, never sleep, never rest, and we would collapse, leaving our special little people without the love they need. So take the help that is offered, shout and stamp your feet against authorities who umm and ahh about providing what they are obliged to, and make sure that YOUR needs are not forgotten.
I'm here. I've been away for a time, between four levels of stress, but I've tried to keep up, the best that I could.
You sound like you're in need of a bit of decompression. You already know that you are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.
Sometimes, though, we each have to remember that sharing our strengths with others doesn't diminish what we have, but makes us all the stronger - and twice stronger, when we are feeling less-than-strong.
Relatively recently, I was beginning to emotionally go through a similar feeling, and, as I shared with a close friend of mine, she reminded me of all the quick-inspiring ways I've picked her up along the way...and, in turn, re-inspired me to continue forward.
One of the things I used to say to that friend was, "Hey! You'd better take care of you - you're the only you we've got around here..."
She, in turn, said the same thing to me.
You take care of you, too, hon. You are the only you those boys [and we, your readers] have. If someone offers you a breather - take it. If your kids are electronically plugged in, get your cup of coffee and a shower.
Savor the mini-breaks, and cherish the smiles...they'll get you through the rough patches.
God Bless
-Me-