So here's the update on collegeman and the add/drop class situation. He had become very agitated because the law professor had not gotten back to him about the syllabus. We had tried our best to figure out what he should read for the class, but he was really unsure. The anxiety actually caused a small seizure. Finally the professor did get back to him with a list of chapters for the first class. The man actually apologized for not looking at his emails earlier. (I am sure hubby was right-three-day weekend ) Not bad response from prof. Thumbs up one.
Then the aide tells me that the law professor took collegeman aside before class and told him not to worry about the reading for class, because he had missed the first lecture and it was ok to catch up. Thumbs up two. Seems collegeman did calm down after that. Aide said he did well after the talk with the professor. Stayed on task and not too many questions. All right collegeman. So we shall see how it goes from here. As long as the professors can deal with collegeman's idiosyncricies its really up to my son, just like its up to every mother's child to sink, swim or cut bait.
I think that is all we really ask of society. Give our children a chance to prove themselves. Don't assume you know who they are or what they can do. See beyond the disability to find the person. I don't really think its all that hard for the world to really do. It's like a friend of mine told me about he son yesterday. The teacher in a science class wanted to put a transcript notation on the child's transcript about science. There had never been any indication that this child who has cerebral palsy couldn't do the work. He had done it all year long without incident, but the teacher got scared. Prejudged what would happen on the Regents exam and wanted to cushion the transcript. Now I know this teacher. I don't think it was the same as art teacher vis-a-vis highschoolboy. I honestly believe the science teacher did have good intentions. My friend held her ground however, and said no way. Her son got a 75. Good for him and I do hope the school learned a lesson.
I think that is the most infuriating aspect of the problem with the acting teacher and the drama Dean. They decided to prejudge a situation for a student they knew nothing about. The teacher met him once and the Dean not at all. Just ignorant truely ignorant. I asked the disability director if she forwarded my email to the Dean. No, she did not. Didn't really think she would. But she mentioned something about changing the description of the class. As if that really would have made a difference. But that's ok. I'll give her this one. I did tell her though that this was not a precedent and would not happen again especially when the class is part of collegeman's major or minor requirements. Now, apparently the art teacher is not dealing well with actually having to teach my son how to draw. Heavens a basic drawing class and she has to teach collegeman to draw. Go figure. What will the world think of next? Professors actually teaching and students actually learning. Tommorrow is another art class. We'll see how it goes. Disability director was meeting with the art teacher either yesterday or today. But she knew I was sorely not in the mood for nonsense. But I did get the aide to continue going to class with collegeman. Did give the professor that one without question. (Sad aspect of this is that art was the one class that collegeman doesn't really need support. It really is the professor.)
On another note, I met with the asperger support program coordinators yesterday at the college. Didn't really give them a chance to talk. I wanted them to know what we already do for collegeman. One did seem rather put off. But that's ok. She asked what would they do since we have all the bases covered. I told her a support group on campus would be nice and to have an extra person he could turn to in case of a problem would be good too, plus some pointers for the aide to help collegeman finally reach that stage of being independent. I don't know what her problem was. I guess since she can't play hero with my son she didn't want to play at all. Hubby did have an interesing point however. The semester started now, two weeks ago. These students have terrible transition issues. If they were really interested in helping why didn't they start the process over the summer?
Anyway, long story short, they gave me papers for collegeman to sign and a questionnaire to have collegeman fill out. Hubby wants to make sure everything is coordinated properly especially since we really don't know them. Probably won't let them talk to collegeman or the aide until they talk to the therapist and the life skills coach. Noone goes off half-cocked anymore. Noone will give him mixed messages. But I think they understood that. I did have my "beast on" when we met.
I do hate having to walk around that way. It's not really healthy. Its just been a tense few weeks. Hopefully things will get better. Everyone will calm down (including me), and collegeman will get down to what he does best-showing the world that nothing will stand in his way.
Until next time,
Elise
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Comments (16)
:) I'm taking online classes. My one teacher wrote, "Continue working on the website you started in Module 4." So that is what I did, and turned in a half-completed website... thinking I had another week to finish it. Looked at the next module and realized it had the start of another project and no instruction to finish the one I was continuing. So... I wrote an email to the prof explaining that I read "continue", took it literally, and did exactly that, and that if he had intended for me to FINISH it that he should have said so. (Though not quite like that... I think I was a bit more polite than that.) So, I finished the site and turned it in almost a week late, but I was allowed to do so because of the misunderstanding. I had passed the point where turning it in late had been an option. I lost 10% because I turned it in late, but otherwise would have had 100%.
I'm glad I realized that I had done that, but back when I was 18-20... I wouldn't have even realized it until I wondered why I got an incomplete on the project or until I tried to turn in the rest of it and got told that I couldn't because it was late. So, thank God us Aspies do grow up... LOL
They have no idea what I have. I have been diagnosed by one doctor as depressed. Another as skizo typal, later skizo affective, another asperger's before I got sick of no one being able to give me treatment that did anything but hurt me. So I started self medicating and trying to get by the best I can. I was happier before i saw a doc. I hate shrinks with a passion now. I think I would rather step infront of a mac truck.
@Asrael2311@xanga - I am sorry you have problems finding someone to help you. But you must find help. It is important to understand what is going on inside yourself. Please if you are depressed and fel the way you do, you must see a doctor immediately. You must let someone help you. You should contact a local ospital and tell them you also are talkinga bou suicide. it is essential that you get yourself help.
@keystspf@xanga - Aspies are just so literal. But at least you figured out your mistake and took care of it. A good executive functioning expereince. Make the professors give you teh amount of instructions you need. My collegeman always asks alot of questions, sometimes to the professor's distraction, but at least he knows that he knows what to do. Good luck to you, sounds like you are doing well.
@aspergers2mom - ya, a hospital will help. Help themselves to everything they can. I just go out from under collections for the last time they helped me. Couldn't think straight for about 3 months and was having to drink a liter a day of pop just to get going because of the zombification. Despite that I still managed to pop 80s across the board on the standardized tests in school.
The next useless vampire I am paying off is student loans. Got 14 k to go on that.
@aspergers2mom - Now that I have a word for what I lack (executive function) I have a way to take care of working on it specifically. Even without a formal Aspie diagnosis... following plans and advice for Aspies has helped me tremendously.
@keystspf@xanga - I am glad you are doing so well :) There is a wonderful book College Students with Aspergers Syndrome by Bedrossian and Pennamon. I refer to it all the time. It has alot of strategies and practical ideas that you may find helpful, if following aspie strategies helps you :)
@aspergers2mom - thanks... Now... do they make one for college students with a husband, three kids, and an apartment to keep up with? LOL
@keystspf@xanga - LOL that one is just life's lessons :)
@aspergers2mom - Well... if it is one of those things I've got to figure out on my own... I think I'm pretty well toast. I've been at it for nearly 12 years now and still in the same boat full of holes trying to bail it out. :/
@keystspf@xanga - you are not toast. it's just a matter of organizing things. it's that darn old executive functioning issue. BTW, remember you can't do it all and have it all at the same time. Once in awhile something has to give. Asking your spouse for help is a good place to start. Not thinking that your apartment has to be spotless. Not thinking you have to be a gourmet cook, simple food is just fine. Go to http://asd2mom.spaces.live.com/blog/cns!BF70F135A8FDB728!266.entry I wrote this entry for parents of special needs children, but it can apply to any person who is trying to be a wife, mother and student. It's about taking care of yourself andletting somethings just slide. See if it helps any.
BTW, I didn't mean to belittle your earlier point. I thought you were being ironic since you added the LOL.
@aspergers2mom - Didn't take it that way. No worries. My mom gave me this book called, "The Sidetracked Home Executive" a long while back... and while it has some really great ideas (as does the flylady website which is more or less based on that book) they are all very complicated. Donna Otto wrote a fantastic book called, "How to Get More Done in Less Time" and it is also very good... the problem with both ideas is that I keep losing the notebook... or forgetting to write in it or read it. My friend Christina just introduced me to the Google calendar which I can program to send me text messages to remind me of things. I have played with it a little, but it is not nearly as portable as a notebook... I am not going to carry my laptop around everywhere with me to keep track of things. Though my cellphone should (in theory) be able to sync to it. Technology is a good thing... now if only I could stop being sidetracked by Bejeweled and Spider Solitaire...
@aspergers2mom - I am also hoping that "starting over" again with this move to TN from FL I will be able to get a better handle on things. Here I'm kinda just scrambling to keep bugs out. It is miserable.
@keystspf@xanga - good luck. Tennessee is lovely. :)
I WANT TO MAKE A COMMENT ON THIS POST. if you do not want people to give you advice for traumatic events that you are going through do not post those events here. The purpose of these blogs is to help each other and when we as people read of anothers distress we try to help. If you are here just to be a troll you are not welcome.
aspergers2mom
I want to make another comment: if an autistic person flies into a panic, it's not helpful to accuse them of being a troll (which is also to accuse them of lying. Very insulting.) The panic is gone now, but after the most recent post in this thread, so is a lot of trust. Those who can't accept autistic panic perhaps shouldn't be trying to help autists. (But there is no worry that the particular autist who was panicking will be posting here again, so carry on as usual.)
Have a good, healthy, happy life, all. Be well.