Sunday, 14 February 2010

• Autism and the Search for the Perfect Valentine

  It was time to prepare for the big  third grade ‘Friendship Party.’ a nice euphemism for the elementary school version of the Valentine’s Day card/candy exchange. We only had a mere two days to go before the big event.  So, having a half an hour to spare between the after-school pick-up and an important call with my agent, I decided to take Connor to the local pharmacy to  look for the perfect classroom Valentine. 

  We started in the candy section.  I pointed to some chocolate candy hearts. “How about these, Connor?” I asked.

  “No. Those are not healthy,” said Connor. 

  Okay, no problem. 

  We continued along the candy aisle. “How about these candy-filled bags with hearts on the outside?”  I suggested hopefully, looking at my watch and noticing that time was running short. Connor shook his head.  And suggestion after suggestion, the answer was the same –no, no, no!  We were both beginning to get frustrated. I had to get home for my call. 

  After another half an hour, we both had had it. Connor had begun to cry, and I was seething. I said, “Connor what DO you want in the perfect Valentine?”   
  

  He responded quite emphatically, ” I DON’T WANT TO SHOCK PEOPLE!” 

  Thinking that he didn’t want to give a Valentine that might cause him to be teased, I took him home and asked him to think about it.

  Later that evening, while I was rummaging through his backpack, I found a note advising parents not to include any Valentine’s gifts with peanuts because there was a student in his class with severe peanut allergies.  At last I understood what Connor was trying to tell me.  Connor didn’t want to buy candy that had peanuts or was made in a factory that made peanut products — those could cause his classmate to go into anaphylactic  ’shock.’

  The next morning before school, we went to our local big-box discount store, and found Valentine’s Day cards and some lovely Valentine’s themed lollipops that were made in a peanut-free factory.  Good job, Connor.

  (Who says that children with autism are not considerate of others??!!! )

  Happy Valentines Day, everyone!

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