Wednesday, 27 January 2010
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An Open Letter to My Son's Teacher
Dear Nigel’s Teacher, At the Scout meeting on Saturday, I know that you were laughing good-naturedly when Nigel worded something in an awkward way, and that you didn’t mean any harm, but I wanted to clarify for you what I said in response, because, as his teacher, it’s important for you to know. Nigel did not start talking until he was five years old, and the process from that point on was very difficult for him. I described this in the information sheets that I gave to all of his teachers at the IEP meeting in September in the hopes that his teachers would be patient and understanding when he has difficulty expressing himself verbally. This is one of the many ways that his autism affects him.
When I said, “He does the best he can,” in response to your laughter, I meant that sometimes he is unable to formulate his word choice in a typical way, but he tries. He has always had difficulty using pronouns correctly. Sometimes he states something that’s obvious. Sometimes what he says can sound odd or off-the-wall to others, but he cannot help it, just as [another student] cannot help it when he stutters. When [the other student] stuttered at the meeting, no one laughed. And I really hope that when Nigel says something in the classroom that is obvious or might not make sense that you do not laugh in response. This sets a negative example for his peers, many of whom have bullied him in the past. This is why I had homeschooled him previously. It would be very upsetting if the bullying started again, as it would affect Nigel’s academics negatively along with his well-being.
As I said, I know you did not mean any harm by laughing. I just wanted to make sure you realize that he cannot help it if he says something awkward. He has always tried so hard to communicate, and when he says something that doesn’t sound right, he shouldn’t be laughed at. Thank you for the work that you do as a teacher, and for your patience with my son. I know that a student with autism can be more difficult to teach, and I do appreciate all of your efforts.
Sincerely,
Tanya
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About the Author
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- From: teenautism
- About Me: My name is Tanya Savko. I am a writer and the mother of two sons. I am also the southern Oregon chapter rep for the Autism Society of Oregon.
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Comments (3)
I am reminded of that line from House:
(paraphrased of course)
"Your son is a freak of nature. It doesn't mean you have to treat him like one."
How sad that a teacher would laugh...this story hurts me.
I laugh at my son's choice of words a lot. I explain to him that what he said or how he said it made me laugh and that makes me happy. He does it most times just to see if I will laugh. He likes making other laugh. He has never been bullied (except by his brother!) so, in some ways, laughing isn't a big deal.
HOWEVER, the way this seemed to have happened, is not like what happens with my son, This didn't seem like the laughter was at a joke or was in good natured fun but rather the kind when someone makes a mistake and that can make someone feel horrible. Never mind the example it sets. I hope you gave a copy of this letter to Nigel's teacher!