Sunday, 10 January 2010
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A Neighbor's Perspective-Play Along!
“I see her running around, maybe not running so much as gliding from one child to the next; meeting their needs, kissing their bruises, softening their touches. She does this with such love and grace, with a smile about her face leading anyone to believe all is “normal”.When I go to her door she meets me with three about her, having followed with screams of excitement, chaos. Clothes will be strewn on the table beside her, she’s hurdled toys, weaving in and out of all obstacles to greet me at the door with a smile on her face. She can lead anyone to believe all is “normal”.
But as I’ve told her many times, I know that it is not. I know that it is difficult, though not from experience. See, she has three very young children, her husband works odd hours and her oldest son has special needs.
For the two years she’s lived here, from the questions I have asked, I have heard a lot of intimidating words leave her lips. Diagnosis these are. Words like Cerebral Palsy, Autism, Developmentally Disabled, Sensory Processing and newly, an incredibly rare seizure disorder, Landau-Kleffner Syndrome.
I’ve done my Googling. I’ve learned these words are not only intimidating but their meaning terrifying. So when she greets me at the door or is found chasing her children for a game in the yard, and smiles as everything is “normal”, I know they are not.”
This is just one version of one neighbor that I wrote about in a 15 minute exercise in my first writing class. The assignment was to write a short story about yourself from another’s perspective. I chose a neighbor I’ve gotten to know well.
The reality is, other neighbors probably think I’m scattered, hurried, always chasing my little spoiled beings who so easily slip from my grasp; “She should really take parenting classes”…such is perspective.
This got me wondering…thinking…please play along.
If I asked you for a few extra moments of your time to exercise your fingers about your keyboards, what could you say about yourself from the perspective of one of your neighbors?
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About the Author
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- From: generalhysteria
- About Me: I’m a mother to 3 children, one with special needs. Alex (6), Violet (2) and Ben (1). I have done a great many things in my life thus far, but being a wife and mother is the most challenging.
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Comments (3)
I cannot even begin to imagine what my neighbors think of me. Even the ones I know pretty well. I guess Adriana thinks I'm ok, since she still hangs out with me and can spend an hour just talking about stuff. But what she actually thinks is beyond me.
I think only neurotypical parents with children who have autism can answer this easily. Or at least, easier than those adults with autism at any rate.
However, I have had the benefit of a neighbor telling me what he thinks of me...
"I had not met her yet nor her husband and kids. However, she often picked my kids up on the way to the bus stop on those cold winter mornings when my car wouldn't make it down our county roads the quarter of a mile. She must be a nice person. She also will loan out anything if my kids knock on her door... a cup of sugar? Sure! An egg? Here's two... She's nice and generous. But how come she never comes and knocks on my door? How come her kids never engage my kids in play? What's wrong? Does she not like me or my kids? Does her kids not like my kids? Was there bullying involved somewhere?
Maybe I can knock on her door and find out."
And so he did. :) I explained it had nothing to do with like or dislike. I didn't know them enough to form an opinion such as that. But that it's just my way of being and my kids way of being. I think I finally used the word "autistic" after about five visits over coffee. LOL I'm still getting the hang of using it as an adjective to describe me and my kids.
@keystspf@xanga LOL. The funny thing is, this is the "nicest" of all the neighbors. She tries to never say anything bad about anyone. I wonder what the rest think.
@heatherbabes I think that's great that you've been able to come out and talk to your neighbor We've made a point to talk to neighbors about our son; to keep them updates, use all the lingo and explain exactly what the words "mean". We've done that for their interaction with him, for their understanding why sometimes we might rush him inside, and so that they can give their children explanations. Our cul-de-sac is ripe with kids. I'm finding, communication is everything.