I like order. I thrive on logic. Always have. I'm always curious about the whys and hows of things happening the way they do. That's why I embraced Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) so well. You see a behavior, you look for antecedents, or causes, and then you can predict a logical course of action based on that information.
Well, for reasons unbeknown to me, the Good Lord has seen fit to cure me of my need to have all my little ducks in a row. I guess that's why I have been blessed with children that defy the very logic I seek.
I've searched high and low for some patterns, some reasons for the fact that some days are good and some are bad,. Lack of sleep, certain stimuli, diet, stressors -- all these things have been analyzed ad nauseum, but still no clear patterns have emerged.
And this my friends makes me a little crazy. Take this weekend. Saturday was an absolutely glorious day. Big Brother was determined to make money for a toy he wanted. But not too determined. He didn't have the blind ambition he sometimes possesses in his quest to get what he wants.
He was able to complete tasks, take direction and even handle plan changes. By the end of the day he had earned a well-deserved trip to Target with his dad to make the big purchase. To top it off, twin sister spent the day in the snow and baking and showed no signs of her usual anxiety. Big Sis was at a friend's house most of the day and the little guy -- lets just say he was being three.
Why things were so calm it almost seemed -- normal. I was able to catch up on paperwork, organize a couple of closets and even dealt with the bills. All the while, I kept thinking, -- so this is how normal people live.
Conventional wisdom would lead one to believe that things must be improving and that we were indeed on the upswing. But as we went over in a previous post, we're not exactly your conventional family.
I had to take a few deep breaths to ward off the urge to succumb to a fantasy of normalcy, but in the end I prevailed. And it's a damn good thing I did.
Because like clockwork, Sunday came and things promptly fell apart. Mind you, nothing was different. No changes in schedule, no unusual stress. Just Sunday. And from the get-go we knew we were in for trouble.
Unlike the previous day, Big Brother could not handle a thing. The slightest noise sent him reeling as did any meal that was served, any suggestion that was made or even sheer silence. This in turn sent his sisters over the edge. And the little guy, wanting desperately to be like his big brother, emulated all sorts of bad behavior.
So here I am today left scratching my head. Because when the door finally opens and the kids walk in, I have no idea what I'll be facing. Ugly green monsters or sweet angelic beings? Your guess is as good as mine.
And deep down, I find my self yearning for something very illusive in these parts. Consistency. Some semblance of logic. And that leads me to think, "Am I asking too much?"
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