Wednesday, 02 December 2009

• Special Sensitivities

  The thoughts continue. We’ve spoken to a number of people, in a variety of situations, though not all that we intend to. Alex seems happy, though we certainly see a difference in his actions when we talk about or are around certain people.

  We find ourselves pacified by what we hear, but unsure of what really happens in our son’s school. We never want to imagine that anyone would ever do anything to harm him or any other child in any way. We certainly aren’t feeling as though it would be physical, but emotional – not intentional. Are there emotionally driven comments said under frustration, overwork, misunderstanding, that lead to damaging the emotional balance so delicately held onto by children with special needs?

  A delicate hold it can be.   
  

  We’ve seen our son burst into sobs. Outbursts of tears, head too weighty to hold onto the cries that demand escape from his chest…because someone is sad in a movie. Because someone was hurt, is longing, lost a friend, is alone…those things make him frighteningly brokenhearted, sent into a weeping bundle at your waist, holding on for comfort and reassurance that the character in his show will make it through; that they will be okay; that they are loved. He feels it for them.

  Special needs children are so delicate.

  Those who are charged with their care, those who have chosen to mold their lives around the guidance of our special needs children may know not how fine of a balance lies within these children’s hearts. They soak in all that is said to them. They see all, hear all, even if they can’t understand all; it makes it into their being in some form unknown and becomes a part of them.

  So, if words are said that have a hint of unfeeling, callousness; if actions are brash, jerky, not thought out, our children absorb it. Possibly to a deeper degree than that of neurotypical children. They have no release, no decisive, deciphered, constructive way of communicating what they’ve experienced to us. They have no way of telling us that they were hurt, they don’t understand why something happened, why something was said. They have no release.

  They are so delicate.

  I just hope those around them, around my son, caregivers, friends, neighbors, passersby understand the damage they can do to his heart. How quickly they can bring about the throws of merciless despair to a child with special needs.

  

  
  

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