Wednesday, 25 November 2009

• Autism Therapy: Thanksgiving Anyone?

  It’s Thanksgiving week.  For most families, it means wonderful things!  Traveling to be with the ones they love the most.  Great food.  Great company.  Lots of people.  Maybe multiple gatherings.  Lots of wonderful memories. Kids out of school.  Then, there’s our family.  And those families who are affected by autism spectrum disorders.  No matter how much autism therapy, autism education or autism information you provide your friends and relatives with, it doesn’t seem to help the child with autism.   What to do?

  With all of the different foods, changes in routines for our kids, it can be a set-up for disaster.  With our family, it has been.  We thought we were doing the right things by taking our son to family gatherings (away from home).  Having him experiment with different foods.  Even inviting the “gang” to our house.  Thinking that it would be easier on him if he was in more familiar surroundings.  Not so much.

  
  

  Our son has always been a picky eater.  He never met a hot dog, pizza, piece of fruit (one advantage!) , dessert, or bowl of macaroni and cheese that he didn’t like!  LOL!  But during the holidays, we always felt that he needed to “try a bite”….just one bite.  Which was followed by “no” and a melt-down.  IF…and only IF we got to dinner.  Usually he didn’t make it to dinner.  The noise and the crowd had bothered him so much.  He would have to retreat into a quiet room to watch TV for quiet time.

  Maybe your child with ASD is like that as well.  It pained us to do this “dance” for years.  Until it finally occurred to us:  why?  Why are we putting him (and everyone else) through this?  There has to be a better way.  For everyone.

  Dinner.  Well, we have evolved over the years.  We still have our traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  Turkey with all of the trimmings.  Our son with ASD.  He has decided that he likes mashed potatoes.  Homemade.  And he is now in charge of them.  I cook them.  He takes great pride in mashing them, adding the butter and cheese and putting them on the table for me.  Macaroni and cheese has now become a staple on our table as well.  Our youngest son loves it.  And we have added hot dogs to our table.  Two years ago, our son with ASD actually tried turkey.  It was “o.k.”, he said.  He didn’t want any more, but he tried it.  Without coercion.

  Family understands.  We don’t go “over the river and through the woods” anymore for holidays.  Our son needs the routine of being home.  When friends do come, we make sure it is a “kid friendly” event and our son with ASD has a place to escape from the noise and activity.  He can only handle so much.  We set him up for success.  Everyone is much happier that way.

  Here’s hoping you find your middle ground for your ideal Thanksgiving with Autism.  It may take a while.  I know it did with us.  But there are times that you have to pick your battles.  In our case, Thanksgiving was a time to give thanks for the blessings that we have.  And not to fight with Autism.  To embrace it.  To cook hot dogs, macaroni and to love our son, just the way he is.  As we do every day.

  
  

  Happy Thanksgiving!

  
  

  
  

  
  

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