Monday, 23 November 2009
-
Peer Acceptance and Autism
Many moms go through a tipping point around the time their children reach elementary school. It is the dawning realization that, “It’s not about what I want. It’s about my child having a life of self-determination and fulfillment based upon his own unique talents and preferences.” Slowly, we learn to accept our children for the wonderful people they are, and not the ones we expect them to be from our own narrow set of experiences. For some of us, it can be a hard lesson to learn, and I’m still learning.As an example, last year I felt the need to apologize to Connor because I bungled I prime opportunity to show my support for him. Instead, that support came from two of his classmates. These two very special people, Katie and Quentin, partnered with my son to make a new and frightening experience much more tolerable. In karate class, Katie never protested when Connor kept touching her hair and trying to draw her into conversation during class exercises. When the instructor, a stranger, attempted to put a martial arts belt on him, Connor ran to the back of the gym and Quentin followed him to bring him back to the activities.
I, on the other hand, kept signalling Connor to shh, don’t-do-that, pay-attention, stop-touching-her-hair and put-your-belt-on-right-now. Me bad. Very bad.
As parents, we need to learn to expect kindness and courtesy from other children, and to trust in their value as peer mentors. What I found so wonderful about Katie and Quentin’s actions were that they were also true friends of Connor, just the way he was – autism and all. In the scary world where bullying is an all-too-frequent occurrence, it was a healthy reminder that most children are kind, considerate, and understand/accept our kiddos far more than we realize.
SHARETHIS.addEntry({ title: "Peer acceptance and autism", url: "http://autismisnottheboss.com/2009/11/peer-acceptance-and-autism/" });
RecommendRelated Posts
Post a Comment
- Back to autisable's Autisable Site!
- Note: your comment will appear in autisable's local time zone: GMT -05:00 (Eastern Standard - US, Canada)
About the Author
-
- From: autismisnottheboss
- About Me: Hi, I’m Mae, a reluctant housewife, moderate mom, volunteer parent mentor and quiet advocate for people with disabilities. I have a son with a PDD-NOS diagnosis who is fully mainstreamed at his school and within our community. Learn more about me at http://www.autismisnottheboss.com
Stats: This Week All Time Posts: 0 38 Views: 0 18926 Comments: 0 187 View all posts by autismisnottheboss
Comments (5)
Wow. Don't be so hard on yourself, but thanks for sharing about those two kids. Maybe there is a light shining in a dim world, after all.
I've found that a lot of children/young adults accept autism, and other special needs peers on a higher scale than most parents realize. I just graduated from high school this past summer, and one of the best experiences I have is volunteering for the special olympics every year. And by my senior year, I was helping organize it for the students in my school, and I actually had to turn students down who wanted to help because all of our slots were filled.
One girl in particular was autistic, and she reminded me of a girl my younger sisters age (about 10-12 years old), even though she was older than me, and it made it really easy to connect with her. She relied a lot on sensory, especially touch and I was wearing a sweater the day of the olympics she really liked, so she kept rubbing my back. Her mom came over (who was also a teacher at my school) and got on to her and told her to quit bothering me. Before I could respond to say it was fine she wasn't bothering me, she said "But MOM she's my friend, she doesn't mind!" It made my heart swell with pride that she trusted me enough to call me her friend. Even after we graduated, we still email and talk on the phone occasionally, and she still reminds me very much of my little sister. And I love her.
I am age 32 and I often feel like my mum is still learning this and may never do, it's like she just can't let me do things for myself or my way. I don't know if I have any form of Autism but I have symptoms of Aspergers Syndrome.
I agree with this because that's related to quality life, sometimes teachers in several schools use to buy cialis and I think that's not a good example, what we want as moms is ouur children having a good realization and being excellent professional without matter about their disabilities.m10m
Hi, probably our entry may be off topic but anyways, I have been surfing around your blog and it looks very professional. It’s obvious you know your topic and you appear fervent about it.I’m developing a fresh blog plus I’m struggling to make it look good, as well as offer the best quality content. I have learned much at your website and also I anticipate alot more articles and will be coming back soon
pharmacyescrow