Tuesday, 17 November 2009

  • A Sibling's Take on Autism

    From: Dr. Chun Wong

    Adam and Dean Aviram are best friends - more than that, they’re brothers. At 9 and 10 years old respectively, Adam and Dean brag that they’re building a time machine together. Though he’s the younger of the two, Adam looks out for Dean and enjoys spending as much time playing with him as possible. They work as a team many times, especially because Dean has a wonderful memory so Adam loves that he doesn’t have to remember things.

    Though alike in the traditional last name and DNA departments, Adam and Dean’s differences are many. Adam prefers to play soccer and Wii. Dean has a fascination with history and loves to have intelligent conversations about world leaders with anyone who is interested. Though you might not be able to tell by simply looking at them, Adam and Dean’s biggest difference is that Dean has Asperger’s Syndrome and Adam does not.

    If I were to pose the question “What is Austism?”, I can only assume that you would head right to Google or WebMD and find the most technical and informative definition. Though it would be certainly accurate, your definition may differ from that of an Autistic child’s parent or even more, an autistic child’s brother or sister. The siblings of autistic children are undoubtedly intelligent and some of the best people to ask about the disease to get an honest, accurate description of what Autism looks like and means to them. 

    When Adam was asked what Asperger’s was, he answered, “Asperger’s is a type of autism and it’s hard for people to have a good conversation with other people.” His answer was not filled with technical words, however it was very accurate. He was also asked if his friends could notice that something was different about his brother, Dean. Adam answers an honest “Yes.” but says that they are not disrespectful towards his brother. He does go on to say that his friends wonder why he sits with other Autistic children at lunch time. Adam says that he tell his friends that he’s helping people and he’s interested in other people with Autism because of his brother’s Asperger’s.

    Not only does Adam go above and beyond for his own brother, but he is a true advocate for the Autistic community by reaching out to others.

    Some researchers are concerned with the effect of Asperger’s and Autism on the other children in the household. Do they grow up craving attention? Do they form a resentment for the illness and for their sibling for their mental disorder? Do they develop anger issues and are they more likely to have anxiety disorders as young adults? All of these scenarios and more are being studied, and we’ll surely see reports and statistics released at some point. However, in the case of Adam and Dean and surely in many other cases out there we have a chance to see that when subjected to Asperger’s in their home, children learn the lessons of respect, compromise, tolerance and patience at a much younger age than many other children. These are lessons and skills that many of us live our entire lives trying to learn and perfect.

Comments (5)

  • heatherbabes

    Oh wow. That's awesome. I wish my boys were like that. They both have autism. Thomas, 11 years old, has Asperger's. Brandon, age 7, has PDD/NOS. Brandon is much more impacted by his autism that Thomas is. Thomas is embarassed by his brother, doesn't like having to share a seat on the school bus with him, doesn't want his brother around when his friends are present and many of those other behaviors that a lot of siblings develop when their brother or sister is impaired in some way.


    I discussed with Thomas this problem. One thing he said to me was "I know I have Autism, but I'm not weird like him. I hide it better and he should too."


    I wish that was different. Thomas doesn't get in trouble for voicing his feelings in thoughtful, polite and honest ways but I did want him to think about his brother differently. I just haven't found a way yet.

  • RavenStarwind@xanga

    My younger brother has Asperger's and a couple times I've thought about writing a book about the experience of having such a unique brother. I've always been a little surprised that there were not more resources for siblings that were being promoted as far as I could find. Also none of my brother's doctors has ever recommended anything for me to read or made any suggestions such as getting counseling or offering a support group.
    I felt a little lost in the beginning as it took several years to pinpoint the proper diagnosis for my brother. It seemed there was always a new acronym or such and while I understood that my brother was different but it has never been easy.
    I would be fascinated to see what kind of information is dug up by researchers about siblings of those with autism across the spectrum. The effect on siblings would vary greatly based on any conditions that the siblings may have.My experiences are both good and bad as I can see from looking at the
    benefits and detriments, but in my opinion I feel the benefits far out
    weigh the other.

  • Mandy

    I think it probably depends on the siblings personality to be fair.  My son loves his little sister, but doesn't spend a great deal of time with her these days.  I think it has made him more aware of disability, and more understanding of it.  He is certainly fiercely protective of his little sister, but he doesn't get involved with anything outside the home with her.  It could just be that they are too far apart in age, certainly when he was younger he enjoyed the activities we did with groups for disabled kids and their families, but nowadays he just does his own thing and leaves me with my daughter.

    I don't think that having an autistic sister has affected him negatively though, he has certainly never shown any resentment or difficult behaviour because of her.

  • keystspf@xanga

    I would say that without his sisters, my son would not have nearly the communication skills and social skills that he has. Kailey was born when Josh was 14 months old. They both started talking at about the same time... that is to say, when Kai was six months old, she was saying words like, "Mama" and "Ba" and knew exactly what she meant. Josh started saying the same words about the same time. He was about 20 months old. The two have developed on nearly the same level in just about everything. Except for the fact that Josh could count and read before he could talk, and didn't learn to skip until he was eight or ride a bike until he was nearly ten. Kailey has struggled with reading, but had no problems learning to skip or ride a bike on par with most kids. (about four yrs and six yrs respectively.) The two were potty trained about the same time too... when Kai was a little more than two and a half and Josh was just about to turn four.


    Throw my third child, Julie, into the mix... Josh was almost three when she was born. He taught her everything he knew... and it has been interesting to watch him look out for his little sister... who looks out for him almost as much.


    My kids are an interesting bunch to watch. They fight like little cats, but heaven help the outsider who messes with any of them.


  • dreamingofdreaming@xanga

    they do crave attention. they do form a resentment, and they feel guilty about it because they love their sibling. they do get anxiety and sometimes feel unloved. but their sibling is their greatest teacher in life, and they know it, and they wouldnt change it for anything.
    (just speaking from my experience)
    i love my older sister :)

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About the Author

  • newautismcure
    • From: newautismcure
    • About Me: My name is Dr Chun Wong and I have been a practicing physician since 2000 and am a Naturopath, Chiropractic Internist and a practitioner of Traditional Chinese Medicine. I practice medicine in Illinois and specialize in chronic pain and pediatric conditions, including autism. My training, research and the fact that I used to be a nutritionist, mean that I am extremely familiar with the biomedical approach to Autism and I spend my time researching the treatment of Autism in children. You can find out more at NewAutismCure.com
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