So I have decided that there had to have been some type of space disturbance in the universe because it was an awful week last week for collegeman and highschoolboy. Now everyone knows that collegeman had problems with the critique sessions in his art class and luckily the aide was able to go help him out. She wrote up some rules for the critiquing process that should help him understand the dynamics a little better, and hopefully it will work. Now with that taken care of, highschoolboy had his turn.
Highschoolboy made a very big effort to study and do his homework in the first few weeks of school. It was going really well and his grades were good. Then all hell broke loose. He did very poorly on an algebra II test and a chemistry quiz. Needless to say he is now extremely demoralized. To make matters worse he has become obsessed with his handheld again. I had hoped that we had gotten over the handheld fixation once he had become enamored of scifi novels but it seems that like an addict he goes back to his enorphin rush. I knew it had to be bad when as I waited in line for pick-up his case manager actually came out to the car to talk to me.
We had been having issues about his stubborness and teenage "know-it-all' phase at home but I had thought that it had not reared its ugly head at school. Well Friday it made its appearance. Highschoolboy and I had had a disagreement about what to wear. He put on shorts and I told him to put on pants. I guess I am an idiot because I think in 50 degree weather shorts are a little inappropriate. I tried to reach a compromise with him by having him take a jacket, which he promptly left in the car. I knew he was mad at me because he refused to wave goodbye when I dropped him off. Its his way of punishing me for being, oh I don't know, a mom. Anyway unbeknownst to his speech therpist he was carrying this chip on his shoulder. She just innocently happened to mention his shorts and that she was cold and didn't know how he wore them in that weather. Needless to say his response got him hauled directly into the special ed director's office. Whereby the day proceeded to go downhill from there.
While he did fine in skills class where he just read his book (the handheld having been left in the car because he had decided to play it during class), he later had a meltdown in chemistry because the chemistry teacher had the nerve to confuse two topics. Of course they happened to be two of the topics that are confusing to highschoolboy but the fact that the teacher had a problem sent him a little over the edge. He became increasingly rude and was removed from class. I think this day is symptematic of highschoollboy's life. There is no inbetween with him he either does really well or really bad. He is my extremes boy and unfortunately when the bad extremes rears its ugly head it can have a profound effect on his ability to function.
Now, you say, if all he was was rude that's not too bad. If he was almost six I think you would be right, but he is almost 16. Rules are rules and manners are manners and propriety is propriety. Highschoolboy can no more be nasty to his teachers than collegeman can be rude to his fellow students in critique. Society does not let you have bad days. Control of one's emotions are so very important in life. What's the old adage...fall apart at home, keep it together in public. Highschoolboy has yet to conquer his emotions and learn to switch off his attitude. He needs to work on his appropriateness and his mouth. Like many children with aspergers it is his mouth that gets him into trouble.
So highschoolboy gets in my car and I take him to the therapist. He was still non to pleased with me and had me explain to the therapist what happened that day. Of course when he got to the parts he didn't like he kept interrupting me to give his explanation. At that point I left the session. Went and sat outside in my car and waited to see who emerged from therapy. Highschoolboy with contrition or highschoolboy hell bent on getting himself in more trouble. Thankfully I was greeted by contritionboy. He promptly apologized and told me that he would try to be more thoughtful in school. The therapist sent me an email about what they had discussed and told me that in their next session he would work on helping highschoolboy channel his frustration/anger better.
Unfortunatley for highschoolboy one of the effects of this episode is to have him have an aide just a little longer than he would like. We had been talking about cutting back on his support but with his frustration level so high I don't think the school wants to give him too much rope to hang himself. This is not a bad thing that highschoolboy will have to prove himelf all over again. I guess this is not such a bad lesson for him to learn: if you cannot behave like someone who is almost 16 you will not be treated like someone who is almost 16. But I think the frustration/control issue is tough for highschoolboy so we do have our work cut out for ourselves.
However, I do understand highschoolboy's desire to be independent, while he may have asperger related issues, he is for all tense and purposes almost 16 and wants to be like the other teens in school. Infact, in explaining that he would pull out the handheld instead of paying attention in class, or even backtalked a teacher, his case manager tried to make me feel better by reminding me that that really is typical teenage behavior. She said now all he has to do to complete his initiation into typical teenagehood is to actually skip a class. I am sitting by the phone and waiting for that one.
So off highschoolboy went to begin another week at school. Hopefully this week will be better than the last. I wonder, however, what astrological phenomenon is going to come hurtling our way this week; asteroids, solar flares, lunar eclipse, or just a full moon. The universe does have a way of surprising me. Can't wait!
Until next time,
Elise
Comments (6)
I had a terrible time paying attention in class if my hands weren't occupied. I'd also read in class instead of paying "full" attention, but sometimes that was the only way the stuff being taught would stick. I eventually convinced a few of my teachers that as long as I wasn't disturbing the rest of the class... I paid more attention if I didn't have to look like I was paying any at all. It was easier to remember the things I "overheard" rather than the things that I had tried to pay direct attention to.
Don't know if highschoolboy is like that or not, but it is extremely frustrating to have to "sit on your hands."
@keystspf@xanga - Thanks for the information. I am really glad that your teachers listened and let you learn the way you needed to. But highschoolboy needs to pay attention to the lecture itself or he misses ideas especailly in math. We have him taking notes as he sits in lecture so that he is busy and conentrating on something. Otherwise he would wonder off into highschoolboy land and start thinking about his video games or computer programs. So in a way it is the same thing I guess. He can't just sit there either he also has to be busy inorder to pay attention. Thanks again for your concern.
@aspergers2mom - Math... erg. If they could figure out a way to demonstrate the concepts with pictures, then maybe I'd get it. Math is like learning a new language. For a person who thinks in pictures and concepts... it's tough. I have to take Algebra again... fourth time in my life... in order to get my Com. degree. I only have to have one math, but it has to be college level... and I am not on college level... I'm barely on highschool level. I passed Algebra 1 with just high enough a grade to let me take a computer math course for my senior year... I did well with that because I was programming the computer in BASIC... which I had learned when I was six.
@keystspf@xanga - I suggest you take advantage of the tutoring services they have at your college. I know collegeman's college has tutoring services opento all students especially for math. It could really help. Also if the professor's have classnotes sometimes you can get them to give you copies if you are designated. It's a version of having someone take notes for you, which is an accommodation available under law. Good luck.
@aspergers2mom - I am taking my classes online... so it is all done by reading the lectures and stuff anyway. I'm hoping that this helps. My husband is also pretty good at math and has been able to get some stuff through my thick head...LOL.
@keystspf@xanga - there are online tutoring services. i don't know how good they are but we looked into them for both boys. It may help -found this one the other day Educator.com.They have a section on Algebra 2.