When Justin was born I was told he was a healthy baby boy. Apgars were 9/9, he was so cute, still is......but now he is not a 'healthy baby boy'. Somewhere, somehow, something went wrong. Now I get tiny windows of my boy and a whole lot of him somewhat inside of himself. All I know is that my son started developing fine, he started the Mama, Dada, Gaga then suddenly stopped. He started drooling....all the time. Even at over a year old he was still drooling, needed a bib at all times. When I'd ask his pediatrician she just said it might've been the teething, because Justin was a late teether. Nevertheless, my son was developing normal up until between 8 mos. & a year he started to change. I am at times angry, sad, frustrated because there are just a lot more questions than answers. All I know is that I have to try and make this a successful fundraising attempt in order to get my son the treatment that could potentially recover him. So here I am, spilling my guts out to many strangers, hoping for a miracle; that God by some miracle will grant us this wish. So we can only ask and see what happens.
When Justin was younger and we were transitioning to solids it was so difficult. During that time I had no idea that he was autistic. I believed there were certain things here and there that just didn't seem right, but as a parent, you never want to believe there is anything seriously wrong with your child and I'd mention little things of concern to his pediatrician, family members, friends, and I'd get the ole' I'm sure it's nothing....kids develop differently, he's fine.
I noticed he was extremely picky, irritable more than other children and didn't quite play well with toys, ok, who am I kidding, he didn't
play appropriately with toys. He was absolutely attached to mommy, still is....
When he was diagnosed, it was like the biggest fist ever, punched me right in the stomach. I cannot express enough the heartache to hear your child has a permanent illness that you cannot wipe away or cure with any regimen. I cried at home, I blamed myself, 'what did I do, what did I eat when he was in my belly, the stress maybe?
.....there isn't enough room on this blog for how much I beat myself up inside......I was angry, I was sad, I was depressed, I wanted to know how....and .......no answers. It's a mystery??? Yet more and more children were becoming autistic and more and more questions left unanswered.
Why I even had a medical professional say to me quickly after my first diagnosis when I was numb at what I had just heard, "and don't bother with the alternative things out there that promise cures, there is just no scientific proof".
.....not only did I leave that office with a devastating diagnosis for my baby, but my hope, ..... before it even entering my heart, was stolen at the moment she said that little bit of information, my hope was taken away......
That was before I know-- what I know now. I was not given the answers to my satisfaction of all the questions that I had, so from the moment that I found out that my son was Autistic onward, I became pro-active and began reading about all things Autistic. I'm still learning today. But I've read enough to have found HOPE. Hope in Biomedical and Hyperbaric Oxygen Treatments. I've been educating myself, surrounding myself with both parents of autistic children who have and haven't tried these alternative treatments, I've spoken with Doctors and other medical professionals who believe in the treatment and I'm going to try them if it's the last thing I do! My boy may not be able to talk, but he has a mommy that will talk enough for the both of us and stand up for his right, his right to be recovered from this horrible disorder, I don't even know what to call it, I've referred to it as a disease......all I know is that my beautiful little boy is somewhere in there and I'm determined to bring him out.
He only eats the same thing day in and day out, not because I am a bad parent and wish for him to eat these things, that is all
he will eat. It is part of his Sensory Integration Disorder. He has such an aversion to new foods, he gags. We've tried different feeding groups, different suggestions from just about anyone, nothing works. I am really desperate to get him on the Gluten Free and Casein Free Diet (GFCF), but I don't see how. Every day Justin eats the same thing, for breakfast, Apple Jacks Cereal with no milk, dry. For lunch either Burger King Chicken Nuggets (only type he will eat and trust me, you cannot trick him), or the other which I limit because of his constipation problems, TGIF Moz. Cheese Sticks, the only snacks he will have is Doritos or Cheetos and those he really doesn't eat much anymore. I feel so bad because sometimes he is tired of eating the same thing and will only ask for say, ......apple jacks the whole day! I am an organics person, I prefer organic, not that we can afford it much these days, but in a perfect world my home would consist of only organic food, cleaning supplies and everything else, but ofcourse the stuff that will kill ya is what I can afford....lol.....