Wednesday, 23 September 2009
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Serendipity
From: Happy Aspies
It is good to be reminded about the good parts of Asperger’s. When dealing with school and other activities where there is so much expected that just doesn’t come naturally for someone with Asperger’s, it is easy to forget to celebrate the good stuff. The stuff you love, the stuff that reminds you just how special it is that you have this person in your life.I am talking about Wolfie who will talk to anyone, anytime, anyplace. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how you might look, he will treat you like he treats everyone. With excitement. He has the ability to cut right to the good inside people. I see it happen all the time and it is something that I enjoy so much about him.
I hosted a jewelry party last night at our house for some friends and he really wanted to be part of the party. So, I told him that he could answer the door and show the ladies where the drinks, snacks and jewelry was. He called that being the butler and ran upstairs to shower and change. He emerged from upstairs about 30 minutes later dressed in what he calls his “khaki suit”. This consists of a pair of khaki pants, his striped button down shirt, a blue tie, and this old brown corduroy blazer that I got from a thrift store that I never got around to putting buttons on or ironing. He insists that it looks just fine and wears it whenever he can. One of these days I am going to surprise him with some buttons.
He greeted all the guests and was such a little gentleman about it. One of my friends thought he was telling her he was wearing his “tacky suit”, and we all had a good belly laugh about it, although the joke was sort of lost on him. Another friend was feeling down about somethings going on in her life and was uplifted by his good natured spirit and enthusiasm. She sent me a message saying how much she enjoyed him and how he really turned her day around.
This morning I was tired and he was being sort of floppy and uncooperative. He was frustrated by everything I was asking him to do, which is all basic stuff like brush your teeth and put on your shoes. I forgot in the moment to honor who he is and remember the good stuff. I yelled at him which made him frustrated so he cut the laces off his shoes because he needed help untie-ing them and I was too busy loading the car with backpacks and trying to keep Hammy from joining in on the frustration to help.
Looking back, if I would have just stopped and helped him, the morning would have gone much more smoothly. Coming home and seeing my friends’ note helped me to see all the things I was missing about my own child this morning. I am so thankful for these reminders. They present themselves in the most unique way and somehow, at just the right time.
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About the Author
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- From: happyaspies
- About Me: I don’t have asperger’s syndrome, but I am married to a man who does and we have two wonderful little boys. Our oldest son, Wolfie, is seven and has asperger’s syndrome. Our youngest son, Hammy, is five and has some spectrum tendencies. Read more about us at http://happyaspies.wordpress.com
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Comments (1)
Thanks for this post. When I was young I also would "talk to anyone, anytime, anyplace" especially if they were wearing my favourite colour. In which case I'd usually tell the women that they were beautiful. Many people found this odd so in time I added restraint because I could tell that I made too many bad first impressions. I now try to make little to no first impression on strangers. At college in the dorm over time I got people to mix with each other especially the first year, and at the Y I end up making newcomers feel welcome and part of the club. I don't understand how I do this and why I have the effect that I do. A few people have commented on my doing this. Actually, I usually find most social situations/occasions uncomfortable and have never considered that I have any social skills which are above average (except that I picked up my Grandmother's desire and commitment to save people's face). Yet people who have far more social skills than I do often do a worse job connecting other people in a group. Maybe at places like the dorm or the Y I don't really feel pressured to socialise, I'm just trying to live life day-in-day-out, you know stupid stuff like showering and getting dressed or whatever. But then I end up talking with others while I'm doing the stupid stuff. Maybe the routine stuff relaxes me. Maybe you hit the explanation for this on the head: that it's just the willingness to talk with anyone about just about anything, Oh, and speaking of shoe laces, it took well into adulthood for me to realise that I tie the knot the wrong way so that the laces tend to go from front-to-back rather than side-to-side. I dunno, though, I still do it the same way even though I know it doesn't work as well. I guess I just like my pattern.