"As the mother of a child with Autism..."
I don't have anything else to add to that, but I got your attention didn't I? Don't feel like a sucker. You're not the only one.
It has come to my attention that whenever I say "As the mother of a child with autism..." people instantly pay attention. They presume I'm wise and sagely, and they'll take virtually anything I say as gospel. It's quite fabulous really.
The statement could be followed with something as simple as "...I like kids chewable vitamins" and people will take this into serious consideration. 'Hmmm...maybe chewables ARE better for kids than gummies. I mean, she would know, her child has autism."
I didn't ask for this. I didn't plan on having a child with autism. I didn't want to have a child with autism, but "lo and behold" I do. And it sucks. But when you have a child with special needs and you've put in the hours and years of dedication to the process of helping that child as I have, shouldn't I enjoy a few of the perks?
Well, people thinking I am really smart is one of them.
When I say "As the mother of a child with autism, I buy mostly organic fruit."
It is met with a collective "Ooooooooooooo."
When I say "As the mother of a child with autism, I have my kids ride their bikes at least twice a week."
I hear "Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh."
Believe me, I don't actually think I'm saying anything interesting or even noteworthy. I'm usually not. And God knows, whatever I'm yapping about is almost always unsubstantiated. I'm a busy woman. Sure my kid has autism, but that doesn't mean I know any more than the average bear.
But people can't help but think I have something valuable to say. It's appears to be a natural gut reaction to think "Oh, she's the mother of a child with autism. She must know a lot about child development." Or "Wow, her kid has autism. That sucks. Even if don't agree with her, I feel sorry for her and I'm going to give her whatever she wants."
I'd love to say I'm above it, but I'm not.
It's wonderful. If I'm at school and I want my daughter to have a better seat in class I just say "As the mother of an autistic child, I think my child should sit in front." If I'm out with friends at a movie I can say with great authority "As the mother of an autistic child, I think their characters were well-drawn." Or, let's say we're driving to the valley and I just don't want to be stuck on side streets. I'll say "As the mother of an autistic child, I think we should take the 405."
I suppose I shouldn't expose myself to the world and tell people I've figured this out, and I certainly shouldn't use my own family's misfortune to take advantage of others when I can get away with it.
But I did, and I do. And now, I'm headed out to dinner with some friends. I'd like to have a couple of cocktails, so I'm thinking I'll casually ask "who wants to be the designated driver?" We'll all look at each other and then I'll point to one of them and say "As the mother of an autistic child, I really think you should be the one driving."
And it will work.
At long last, I've found my silver lining.
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Comments (5)
Our silver linings are the wrist band passes at theme parks. Some parks even give you the option to ride twice in a row.
Great post-I love the ones that are honest. As a mother of a child with autism, I have no reason for why my typically developing three year old jumps around the carpool room pretending to be Spiderman.
I think this is perfectly justifiable.
I know why it got my attention when you started your blog out with that sentence.
It's because most mothers of autistic children that I know, do actually seem to have an extra presence of wisdom about them.
If nothing else, I see an extra strength and stamina in these mothers. I can promise you, it's probably such an attention jerker because we have usually personally known one or two of these moms, and I have a high respect for all of them.
There is something about raising an autistic child that will help bring out something admirable in you, whether you saw it there before or not.
@Balletwithsoul@xanga - I love that! That made me feel so great! Thanks!
There should be some kind of perk for having a child with autism....if it's that people are more willing to listen to us and take our words as gospel, I'll take that! Loved the post and the honesty!