Friday, 11 September 2009
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Put To The Test
Today I was really put to the test. Dakota did NOT want to go to school. He literally screamed, cried, fought, punched, and etc. I told him if he wasn’t going to go to school then he would stand in a corner. Well, he probably would have stayed there all day to NOT go to school. So I decided to try to talk to him and ask him why he didn’t want to go to school. He said it was noisy and the kids were mean. I know that with the autism he is noise sensitive. I tried to help him get dressed but he kept resisting by taking his shirt off. It was literally really hard to get him dressed. I did manage to finally get him dressed after chasing him. I said do you want to go for a ride with mom. He said yes. I said I will take your school bag in case you decide to go. So that’s what we did went for a little ride. He was going to school he wasn’t going to win this one.
Prior to going to school I had called the lady that works with us to let her know how hard things were this morning. I called the assistant principal to let her know of what Dakota had told me. She was going to talk to the OT about seeing what we could do to help Dakota. I let the school know we were having problems and I would get him there as soon as I could. So Dakota and I went on a ride. I pulled up at school and the crying began again. I looked at him and said sorry buddy but you have to go to school. Brad goes to school and he don’t like it. I am sure there are kids in your class that don’t want to be there either. So he started to scream and cry. I got out of the truck went around to his side and opened the door. He clenched onto the thingy in the middle. So I lift his hands and lifted his body as he is screaming at the top of his lungs. This time he latched on the seat belt. So I had to unlatch his hands and literally, yes literally carry him to into school. I had to stop and rest for a moment as 60 pounds of dead weight is hard to carry. I got him into the office and he sat on the floor curled in a ball. The nurse came over and tried to talk to Dakota and he didn’t want to go with her. So they got his teacher. She got him to go with her after about 5 minutes. I walked out the door relieved that I got him to school. Broke my heart to see him so upset though. I kept my cool through the whole thing which was amazing for me. I know he is over stimulated at school with the things going on around him. He does shut down when he gets home. Sometimes he goes to sleep and other times he just wants to be alone which is fine. It’s rather frustrating when your sitting here going what do I do?
I met him at 10 for his meds at school and well he was a little resistant at going back. He tried to go out the front door again. But I redirected back to his classroom.
Thankfully tomorrow is Saturday and he has the weekend to de-stress.
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About the Author
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- From: supermommytotherescue
- About Me: am a SAHM/WAHM of 3. I have a 13 year old son who is lost somewhere in the attitude and know it all stages. Wonder if I could patent a remote that could fast forward me through some of these trying times of life with a teenager? If I did I bet I would be rich! LOL I have a 7 year old with high functioning autism. You can follow me on Twitter at 49erfangirl, and also on my website at http://www.supermommytotherescue.com
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Comments (4)
Perhaps what he has to say is valid. Trying to find a way to say this that is non-judgemental and since you don't know me from Adam I apologize ahead of time.... But seriously brick and mortar school is not the answer for every child. Just do a what if...and check this stuff out: http://www.timberdoodle.com/Homeschooling_children_with_autism_s/27.htm
Some children thrive in a school environment....some don't...and that's acceptable too.
I'm with @toomanyhats@xanga. Lots of kids hate school but sometimes it goes further than a mere dislike. If he really hates school that much, he may not be getting as much out of it as he would if he were homeschooled or in an alternative school of sorts. Homeschooling or alternative schooling are perfectly valid options. Education really isn't worth it if you have to go through hell to get it and if going through hell was not your own choice. There is a line that can be crossed with a child when it reaches the point of doing so little good or no good at all to bother going to school because it's such a bad experience for them that they can't focus, or they don't really learn because they are so distracted by their personal hell. What does it matter how much you learned that day if all you can think about is the kids being mean and loud?
My heart stops when I see that haunted, faraway, and disoriented look my son gets when he's subjected to sudden loud sound – like a smoke or fire alarm. That faraway look means he’s gone to his safe place – he’s no longer with us and I have to “go in and bring him out”. As his doctor explained, the rest of us come equipped to deal with loud noise - we automatically and naturally "tamp down on" or "zone-out" loud noises - within just a few minutes standing next to a jackhammer becomes not too much of a problem, right? The constant annoying sound of seemingly never-ending construction around the neighborhood (ours, at least), also quickly becomes background sound, right? But with our kids and adults living with a condition that brings with it this sensory overload thing, I repeat, this is HELL because they’re NOT equipped with that particular tool and there’s NOTHING ELSE they know to do but to shut down. Your son is desperately trying to tell you something even though he can’t articulate it; and he’s trusting you to make it go away and help him deal. A little further down this road, he may learn how to find and use that tool we were graciously given. Inside of him may be a child who actually loves school, given the respect he deserves and the law allows. That’s not going to happen if he is continually forced to associate school with HELL and a place he needs to PROTECT HIMSELF from.
AND - he shouldn't have to deal with mean kids - that has absolutely got to be dealt with and STOPPED.