One of the hardest things for parents is taking our child to the doctor’s office. One thing that is harder than that, is taking him to the hospital. By the age of five, my son had six different surgeries. These were all minor surgeries, done as an outpatient.
When he was a baby, it was relatively easy to take him in for a procedure. As he got older, it became harder and harder. Here was our little boy, nonverbal, and we had no idea what he understood. My husband and I would talk to him and explain what was going on. Looking back now, I think he understood. Did it make a difference? No. Think about. You are three years old and people are sticking needles into you. What child is going to truly understand that?
One of the worse visits to the hospital was a trip to the emergency room. He was around three years old. He was screaming and swatting at his stomach. It was obvious to me that something was wrong. As we drove to the hospital, he started calming down. By the time we got there, he wasn’t that upset. We waited to get in to be registered. I could see he was starting to get upset again. When our name was called, I took him into the little office to take care of the paperwork. I told her something serious was going on and I didn’t know what. I explained that he couldn’t talk. The lady just looked at me like I was stupid. Then, my son started screaming and crying in pain. I could see a doctor through the door and I watched as he started walking over to us. I was crying as I explained to him that my son doesn’t talk and could not answer any questions. The doctor called for a nurse and said that it was obvious my son was in a great deal of pain. They took us into the back and made the lady registering my son come to us after they had things under control.
Dealing with people at a hospital or doctor’s office that do not understand is a common occurrence. They come at my son with needles and gizmos. They talk loud, as if he has a problem hearing (because he doesn’t talk) and that scares him. It’s important that before anyone touches or tries to assess my son, I explain how to approach him. I also like for a health care professionals to talk to my son the same way they would any other child. My son finds the experience a whole lot easier if he is treated as a real person. We are lucky to have a good team of pediatric doctors that takes care of him. They all talk with him and ask him questions. Of course, it takes longer for the visit because my son has to slowly type out an answer. No one seems to mind. They all love having him come in, no matter what the reason. The hospital, on the other hand, is always difficult. I have not come up with a way to make the experience better for my son and me. It is a roll of the dice as to what kind of people are working at the time. I do, however, make them slow down and take their time. I don’t care if they are in a hurry. My son needs to have things explained to him. He needs to be given a chance to cooperate before they decide to come at him with the needles and what not. They might get frustrated with me. Too bad. My son is my only concern.
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Comments (3)
Wonderful post. While our difficulties are somewhat different, I do have some understanding of what you've gone through. I have always been the one to take my daughter to the doctor/hospital. She has a tremendous fear of needles and had one excruciating experience with a blood draw - the phlebotomist couldn't locate the vein and I didn't stop the process when I should have - the poor baby. To this day, I avoid having her blood drawn whenever possible and make sure that everyone understands her fear of needles whenever vaccinations or blood draws are scheduled. Trips to the dentist also are on our difficult list...
The problem I have with this post is you say you want them to treat your child as they would any other child. Then you go on about the special treatment he needs. So you don't want him treated like any other child. But you want him treated with dignity, which is understandable. Just don't say you wanted him trested like everyone else, because you don't.
I understand what you're saying. When short stack had to deal with the emergency room recently - we wanted a sense of "normal" for him. But, at the same token, we had to regularly explain to the staff about his Autism.