When my brother was starting 6th grade and changing schools from elementary to middle school, he was having an "I wear my sunglasses at night, and every other moment of the day," phase. You may or may not know that many individuals with autism refuse to make eye contact with anyone as it makes them incredibly uncomfortable, and the sunglasses were like his security blanket for that. I remember he was graded on eye contact as part of a speech in English class, and I fumed about how unfair it was to him, but the teachers just ranted about state standards, which I also understand but come on.
They dumped him into middle school with no aide. Of course it is against school policy to wear sunglasses, and he has no aide with him, and who should he meet in the hallway but Mr. Smiles (all he was good for was his stupid grin) the principal. My mother and our close family friend/nanny spent the entire first semester going around to his classes with him while we fought to get him an aide; and the school district fought tooth and nail back against us. We finally won out by going through a state agency (after much paperwork and the wait list), and then that expired so the district finally realized it was going to have to pony up after we threatened a lawsuit or two.
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Comments (22)
Wow, schools are weird. In some cases they've got too many individuals helping kids who don't necessarily need it, and in others they won't get those that really need assistance, help.
When I was little, I was selectively mute (SM). People used to ask my mum all the time if I was autistic. Many people mistake kids with SM as having autism. Anyway, about the eye contact. I NEVER made eye contact. I would often curl up into a ball with my hands completely covering my face. I felt safer that way. To this day I still hate making eye contact.
Schools can be a pain in the butt at times. I will be so glad when this year is over with all I have been going through with my son's teacher. Only 20 days left.
Horrible to do that to a person or a family.
That's ridiculous. I have trouble making eye contact. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I can't even imagine how hard it would be for someone who actually has a disorder. I don't understand how the school couldn't make an exception.
Your school is fucked up.
In high school, I had a lot of migraines, they made my eyes very sensitive to light. I got a doctors note, I could wear sunglasses to school whenever I wanted.That makes me so mad. Too bad you just didn't contact the news media when it first started. Schools are more afraid of bad press than lawyers.
thats messed up. i used to not make eye contact at all but now i do it.. maybe too much lol *>_>
im sorry your family had to go thru that. stupid schools. >.<
my baby brother and sisters had the same problem. it's terrible what people are like these days, they dont even care. ugh.
Bottom line is that people just don't care enough. It isn't until someone fights for something that a school acts/listens, and even then, the administrations are only doing it because the school's reputation is at stake. They're not helping because they genuinely care. It's so sad.
I made it through the school system years ago before this was even recognized and there were no aids. I forced myself to learn to make eye contact when I was in high school. I find eye contact painful in a way, not because of what people might think of me (my self awareness is fundamentally lacking), but what I see in other people's eyes. I may not be able to read faces very well, but I can see disdain, disgust, hate, and lies in people's eyes when the rest of their face is smiling and they are playing the 'nice word game'. Eye contact, to me, is almost like naked soul contact. I see people just fine without looking in their eyeballs all the time. I feel for your brother, I totally get the sunglasses thing, sure wish I'd been able to wear them myself back then.
@strappleberry_xD@xanga - In my life experiences, people don't know how to care until they've gone through it themselves, or personally go through it with someone they care about. I think that is typical for just about anything humans go through. I don't think public schools and politically correct institutions are the answer. I hated school very badly.
That would piss me off. They obviously SHOULD have made an exception for him.
I wear sunglasses to avoid eye contact too when I'm in a bad mood. )=
school rules are just too effing rigid.. and stupid. people are Still breaking them anyway.
i have to admit that though i do not have autism, i don't like to make eye contact with people until i actually know them, so i wear sunglasses almost all the time
I definitely agree with @AlterEgo909@xanga - you said it best.
I remember my schools had several teachers reserved for "special needs" kids but they did not seem to need it. I worked with them (tutoring one on one) and most did not seem to have any trouble at all. Some weren't as fast to grasp on to a new concept but it wasn't any different from "normal" kids.
But I would see kids that definitely need an aid and yet they do not get one or one that wasn't there the full day.
The school system stinks. Â What I've discovered: Â they'd rather fund the athletic department then get aides for kids with disabilities.
It's not the schools that are the problem, it's the people that get the jobs there, the ones who run them, that are the problem.
wow, i can't believe that school system. that's uncalled for.
that ended abruptly & it was really just all over the place. What was that whole thing about the principal? You kind of brought it up and then dropped it immediately. & really was this about getting your brother an aide or the fact that he wears sunglasses, there was no real focus in the blog. I'm confused as to how this got featured.
I don't think I'm autistic in any sense of the word, but eye contact does make me feel uncomfortable even to my fiance sometimes. Most of the time I'll talk to people without looking into their eyes and sometimes I'll just force myself but I feel weird doing that because I feel like they know I'm forcing myself. LOL Maybe I'm just a loser.
i liek to wear sunglasses inside when im at Target so's i can peep at the women in there and see they're butts and bosoms and they can't see m' eyeballs a-peepin heh heh eheehe